True Friends are Hard to Find

Dear Sugar
I live in a small community outside of New York where it is very conservative, quite like Wisteria Lane on Desperate Housewives. My husband got transferred to the New York office of his company and we decided to raise our kids in outside of the city. All of the women in my neighborhood are married with children, and the only excitement is the rumor mill which drives these women to gossip.

Being the new-comer on the street has made it difficult to makes friends. While the parents of my children's friends have been welcoming, I get a strange vibe from them; they are very sarcastic, extremely closed minded, and I and feel like they constantly talk about me behind my back.

I am not a confrontational person and so I don't really want to ask them about why I feel so strange around them, but I feel like I almost have to be friends with these catty women to fit into my new community. Do you have any advise for me? Talked About Allie


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Dear Talked About Allie
Women can be quite catty, but if you feel they are not being genuine, keep your distance until they earn your trust and friendship. Moving to a new city and making new friends can be extremely difficult, but with time, it is possible. Sometimes the high school mentality is hard to break and it sounds like these women don't have enough stimulation in their daily lives so they revert back to their childish ways.

Feeling like you have to be friends with a certain group can he disheartening, but there is bound to be many other potential pals out there for you to meet. A good way to make other friends is to get involved in your community and your kids school. Do you have any friends of friends that live near by? Does your husband have any co-workers with wives or girlfriends that you can socialize with?

Just because you are out of your comfort zone does not mean you have to loose yourself in order to be friends with the popular crowd. Give it some time and I am sure you will find your niche. Lean on your husband for support and remember a good friend is only a phone call or plane right away. Good luck.

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