I have been dating a new and terrific great guy for about a month now. Everything is going well, but we have not really established our relationship. It's vague and awkward when we introduce each other and yet we are so intimate and mushy when we are alone.
I know that it's early on, but I thought that since we have so many holiday parties coming up this month, it was time that we had "the talk" to avoid future tension. I decided to send him an email to spark the conversation, and we agreed to discuss the status of our relationship in person the next day.
I was shocked and disappointed when we finally spoke. To my dismay, he told me that he wanted to take a break from dating me and he said he didn't feel we were on the same page. He thought a break would let us know if we really missed each other enough to try to make our relationship work.
I feel like I asked for "the talk" too soon and now I regret it. How can I tell him to forget about the talk and just continue on the path we were taking? Did I scare him off? Is it too late to recover from this? Big Mouth Melissa
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Dear Big Mouth Melissa
Oh no. Unfortunately there is no way to take back your conversation, but try to look at the bright side of this ... if you can. You took a risk by opening up to him and asking him to discuss your relationship. While it's sad and disappointing that he doesn't feel the same way that you do, at least you know sooner than later what he's really made of.
If anything, at least you don't have to go to all of these parties introducing him around and then explain why you broke up soon after. This way you can go as a single and perhaps meet someone else. Please understand that in no way am I trying to dismiss your feelings, it's just that if a guy really wanted to commit, he would.
This guy seems like he is running scared, and I think it's good that you know that before getting any further emotionally attached to him. Why don't you try and take the break that he has suggested and give it about two weeks. That's half of the time that you've been dating him. If you really miss him and he shows you that he really misses you, then give it your all and try and work things out. If not, then unfortunately I think it's best for you to move on. Good luck.