Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen twins are back to fight off the culprit who's spreading crabs all over Hollywood. And just who is Captain Crabs? He's none other than Wilmer Valderrama from That '70s Show. Dude is on a mission to spread the crabbers like crazy so everyone who's anyone can only sleep with him. He's already infected Lohan — that one time, at a truck stop — but can The Superficial Friends crack his shell and save their fellow skanks from venereal damnation?