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Sunday Confessional: I've Lost My Chance To Come Clean

Sunday Confessional: I've Lost My Chance To Come Clean

Dear Sugar
About a year ago my best friend went away for a week on a business trip. While she was gone, a mutual friend of ours threw a party. I knew that my best friend's boyfriend was home alone, so I called to see if he wanted to join me. He knew everyone that was going to be there so this wasn't strange at all.

The party was great and I was really surprised by how much fun I was having with her boyfriend. I guess when I hang out with them, she and I do most of the talking, so I've never gotten to see this funny, sarcastic and charming side to him.

After the party we went to grab a slice of pizza and one thing lead to another. After the pizza we went to a bar, danced until dawn and drank way too much. I'd love to say that out of nowhere he kissed me, but I know that I was sending him an intentionally flirtatious vibe.

The sex was incredible, but the guilt was so overwhelming that it was definitely not worth it. What had I done? My best friend is like a sister to me and if she ever found out I would have lost her. I couldn't bear the thought of it, but things were starting to get risky.

Plenty of our friends saw he and I flirting and I knew that it would always be better if this news came from me. For the next month I avoided her because I couldn't get up the courage to confess and the thought of lying to her face would tear me apart. Finally I called her and set up a dinner date for us at a restaurant I knew she had been interested in trying.

Two days before I was going to see her, I got a call from her boyfriend. He was hysterical and his words were hard to decipher. I immediately thought he told her about our drunk sex. Instead, his news was far worse than anything I could have ever imagined. There had been a terrible car accident and my best friend had died. I was not only devastated but haunted by my own guilt.

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