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Sunday Confessional: I Won't Experiment in Bed With Him

Sunday Confessional: I Won't Experiment in Bed With Him


I have been in my current relationship for about a year, but I have known my boyfriend for four years. We were friends before getting together, and I actually knew him throughout my last relationship. During the time before we were together and after my last relationship, I jokingly, and perhaps teasingly, made references to the sex life with my ex, who was always convincing me to try something new.

Once we got together I stopped discussing my sexual past; however, if he flat out asked me if I had done a particular sexual deed or position, I would tell him if I had. Basically, he knows more about my sexual history than I would like. We have a good sex life, but recently, he has been putting a lot of pressure on me to experiment with him in the bedroom because he knows that I've tried certain things before. I am happy to oblige with some of his requests, but others I am not interested in trying again.

He assumes that since I was a willing participant with my last boyfriend, I should also be with him. I have tried to make it clear to him that just because I've done things before doesn't mean that I want to do them again, but he's really struggling with this. He is more hurt than angry; he feels like I must be less into him than my previous boyfriend. I feel terrible for making him think he's inadequate. I want to move past this, but I'm just not willing to try some of these things again. Can I be forgiven if I stand my ground on this or am I being selfish?

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