I’d been dating my ex for the past 7 ½ months. Everything was absolutely wonderful with her, I can honestly say she’s the first person I’ve ever loved in my life. When I met her, it clicked instantly and I loved every moment of it.
There was one instance in our relationship that went horridly wrong. She had stayed at my apartment that one night so I went to work in the morning and came back to meet her for lunch. When I got there, we ate, and then she wanted to have sex. I had been having a really stressful day at work, and wanted to have sex with her, but I knew I wouldn’t have really “been there” for it so I told her no. The next 10 minutes consisted of her begging for me to have sex with her, which to my mistake, I gave in.
While we were making love, I was still stressed from work and had a tough time performing because I couldn’t get my mind clear - this was the first and only time we’ve had a problem with sex. I knew it wasn’t happening and I had 10 minutes to get back to work, so I apologized and said that I'd make it up to her later. She looked me into the eyes after hearing that and uttered the words, “Are you f***ing gay?” Within an instant, I gave her a slap across the face. It took me a second and I realized what I had done and I immediately ran out of the room and started crying.
I was the guy who would never ever hit a girl. I had no idea what had happened. She wanted to end it right there and then, but I did my best to sit her down and pleaded with her that it was an accident, that I was extremely sorry and that it would never happen again.
We got back together, but things have been a little rocky. She’s left me 3 times, but we keep giving it another try. Just this past week, she told me she couldn’t trust me and that she was afraid I would hit her again. The back and forth is killing me and I don’t want this relationship to end because of something that happened 2 ½ months ago. It was the only time it ever happened, which I wish I could say never did. I love this woman dearly and I want to know if I can be forgiven.