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Sunday Confessional: Did I Cheat?


I'm a 29 year old, very happily married woman. We've been married for 7 years and just bought our dream home together. The other night my husband's cousin's husband was over at our house for a party. (They've been married 2 years and have a baby together). Everyone was drinking and having a great time. He came up to me in the kitchen and wanted to give me a hug to thank me for the party. I thought nothing of it, so I said, "Of course you're welcome, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." He held me tight, pushed me up against the refrigerator and said, "It could be better..." He caressed my chest and kissed my neck. I, of course, pushed him back and said, "I think you've had enough to drink, how about some coffee?" He approached me again this time pushing me into the wall harder and I could tell he was very excited. He said, "You're looking so hot lately, I want you." (I've recently lost 35 pounds.)

I have to admit, a part of me was very flattered. I've been with my husband since I was 18 and the thought of another man finding me attractive was a huge boost for my often low self esteem. Honestly, I lingered a bit longer than I should have -- I let him kiss me and it was very hot and exciting; I actually haven't been that aroused in a long time. After what felt like an hour, really only about 30 seconds, I panicked and pushed him away. I told him that should have never happened and ran out of the room.

My problem is ever since that party, whenever this guy comes over he looks for reasons to be in a room alone with me. He's constantly hitting on me and has tried to kiss me a few times. I told him he's playing with fire and needs to back off. I didn't tell my husband because he would flip out, never mind the heartache it would cause the family. But he won't stop approaching me. He even calls me at work, asking when he can see me. I tell him I'm very busy, can't talk and hang up. I avoid him at all costs but my husband keeps asking why I'm being rude. What do I do? Should I have just said something right after the incident? I feel like I cheated even though nothing really happened. Is this forgivable?

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