Suddenly Single and Hate It

Group Therapy: Suddenly Single and Hating It

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

How do I get over it? I was in a long-term relationship that looked like it was heading towards marriage. At one point we were very much in love. To make a long story short things got emotionally abusive towards the end and ended quite badly. Accusations were flung on both sides-some true, some false and there has been a lot of hurt and anger. Compounded with financial issues and meddling family members, I knew we were headed in a direction we both didn't want, but couldn't overcome. I'm in my late 30s, but I look much, much younger and have been mistaken for a model, being tall and slim. I know I can attract a guy but feel pretty down finding myself single at this point in my life. I look at my girlfriends —some younger, some older — and I see them struggling with being in the "singles scene." It's only been a couple of months, but I don't like being single, after being part of a couple for so long. I know it's not true, but I feel a little pathetic.

I'm looking for a place so I can move out of my ex's house. We are both going on dates — he rebounded with someone but I can tell at the back of his mind he thought we would reconcile. He told me he did it because he had to try and get over me even though he wasn't over me. Also I think he wanted to hurt me because he believed I betrayed him in some way. I can tell he's not happy though and is as miserable as I am. His pride won't allow him to admit it, but I can tell he's depressed and my friends can tell. In the end he acted so badly that I know we need a break and I know I can't just take him back without some time and serious reflection between the two of us. I know if I take him back right away I'm setting a bad example, but I miss the relationship and honestly looking for a new home is discouraging with all of the bad, overpriced apartments out there. Maybe down the line we can work things out but I know we need time apart. How do I stay strong and not cave in? Because one day I think I'm OK and the next I feel like breaking down.

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