To Sign or Not To Sign

Dear Sugar
I am getting married to my college sweetheart next month, and I am counting down the minutes until the big day. He played football in college, we met when he made it on his college team, and we have been together for eight years now.

I supported him through the minor leagues: We have moved several times to his team's cities, and I travel all of the time and have made some major sacrifices for him. He was recently signed to the NFL and asked me to sign a prenuptial agreement a few weeks before the wedding.

I come from a very wealthy family and never thought about asking him to sign one, and now I am left hurt and offended just days before my wedding. It's not like I come from nothing and I feel like I have been with him long enough that he knows I'm not out for his money. What do I do? Disappointed Deedee


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Dear Disappointed Deedee
Hmm, this is a very tricky subject and every couple is different. Let me first say congratulations on your upcoming wedding, how exciting! Pre-nups can be a very loaded subject and I understand how you could be offended by having one sprung on you so close to your wedding day.

Have you and your fiancé ever talked about money and the direction of his career before this incident? Starting a life together while talking about "what if this doesn't work out" is bound to leave you with a sour taste in your mouth, but if you have something to lose, a prenuptial agreement is something to consider.

Since you never thought of asking him to sign one, I can understand your hurt by his request, but try to take a step back and see things from his perspective. This newfound income is a new way of life for him. I can only imaging that his advisers and agent are probably pushing him drafts of a pre-nup, but the choice is ultimately up to you if you want to sign it.

Regardless of his love for you, money can wreak havoc on a relationship. While you have clearly demonstrated you are not in this relationship for the money and have clearly supported him through the good times and the bad, try to remember how much you love each other.

As hard as it might be, try not to take it too personally as it is really just a piece of paper that means nothing in comparison with the love you feel for each other. Listen to your gut, if you feel strongly against signing it, stick to your guns. Good luck.

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