When you meet someone and fall in love, you can't help but want to spend most of your free time with him or her. And when you spend that much time with one person, and share a unique intimacy you don't share with anyone else, they become the person you trust more than anyone else. All these qualities are what you'd find in a best friend, but should your lover also be your BFF?
In a recent Real Simple article, John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, said this about the question:
"I have no problem with partners who are best friends, but you should have other close friends to confide in as well — especially when you are having difficulties and need time away from your spouse. Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
I'm curious to hear your take on this issue. Do you agree with John Gray, that it's asking too much to have one person be both your life partner and your best friend? Or do you think your spouse should without a doubt wear both hats?
Zucca
Fred Perry
Michael Kors
Honestly - I know I am going to get a lot of grief from people but I think my bf is my best friend. Of course I do have girlfriends around me - but friends just don't seem to be what they use to be.
A lot of pervious girlfriends have really hurt me in the past - it's hard to find a true blue friend out there. I know my boyfriend would NEVER EVER purposly try to hurt me.
1Yes, in an ideal situation, he is your best friend.
2I have close girlfriends that i def consider my best friend but my boyfriend is for sure one of them as well.
3He is there for me in way that I cant even explain
Shouldn't you be very good friends with your significant other? Kind of doesn't make sense if you're not. Now, being friends with someone then getting involved has issues (such as that person cheating on you, then the relationship just crumbles as both lovers and friends). But yep! Ideal situation should be best friends & lovers...otherwise it's kind of meaningless, like when you're not doing the hipity dipity, then what?
4My husband is my best friend. I have other close friends that I look to for secondary advice in matters that he doesn't know anything about (chick stuff like periods, generally) or just to get another view on things but he's always the one I go to first and listen to the most- no matter what the problem.
5i guess i would say my boyfriend is my best friend in a way, but if you asked who my best friend was i would name off 4 other girls, my mom, and my sister probably before i'd say his name...in a sense, he is...we hang out more than i hang out with anyone, have tons of fun, he's the first person i call with good news and bad news, and the shoulder i want to cry on when needed, and i tell him everything...but that's also the description of a boyfriend, and i'm okay with having him be my boyfriend and still having my girls be my girls
6I think it's fine, so long as you have other friends as well.
7my boyfriend is my best friend. we just get each other. while i do have girlfriends for the girly things he doesn't want to hear about i absolutely believe that if you can't be friends with someone why would you want to be in a romantic relationship with them?
8My husband is absolutely my best friend. I wouldn't have it any other way.
9ok, good. I thought for sure I was going to be sh*t on by everyone on here! My boyfriend is my best friend...
10I think when you are dating you should have other best friends but I think things change when you marry and have kids. You share so much responsibility with him its hard not to be best friends.
11Yeah, he's definitely my best friend. I can imagine how it may not always be good (because if he's your bff, who do you complain to when he pisses you off
). but I've got enough girlfriends for that I think. And I always
take it up with him anyway so we're a happy couple. 
We get each other, and when we
don't we talk about it; not just b!tch to other people all the time. We play together.
12i don't think it's a matter of being best friends so much as it's a matter of HAVING OTHER FRIENDS just incase your significant other pisses you off or harms you and you need advice or a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board....also, relationships do end sometimes, so it's good to not put all your eggs in one basket, as the article says, so if you lose your significant other, you don't lose your life...the same can be said for anything...in highschool it wasn't healthy to have one best friend and shun everyone else in the world, and so it's the same now....it's good to have a lot of special people in your life
13i don't think it's a matter of being best friends so much as it's a matter of HAVING OTHER FRIENDS just incase your significant other pisses you off or harms you and you need advice or a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board....also, relationships do end sometimes, so it's good to not put all your eggs in one basket, as the article says, so if you lose your significant other, you don't lose your life...the same can be said for anything...in highschool it wasn't healthy to have one best friend and shun everyone else in the world, and so it's the same now....it's good to have a lot of special people in your life
14I do have a best friend and we've been friends for over 10 years, I also consider my guy to be my best friend as well. We get and understand each other and he's the first guy I can honestly say I've ever loved.
15Skigurl, well put! I was going to write essentially the same thing (including the high school metaphor, creepy!)
16My husband is my best friend, without a doubt. He is my one and only and I know that as my girlfriends come and go, he'll always be there for me.
17Yes I can't imagine it being any other way.My husband and I were best friends for many years before we started dating and that fact really worked to our advantage.He's one of the few people I trust most in this world, right alongside my two best friends that I absolutely adore and am very grateful to have in my life.....
18My husband is definitely one of my best friends, but not my only one. I don't have a problem with being that close with one's significant other - why would you want it any other way?
19My fiance is my soulmate. We connect in ways I have never connected with another person. That being said, I agree that you need to have other support systems. There have been times when my fiance will tell me something that I feel he should have confided in a friend, not me. It can get tricky if he confides in you for something that may put you against yourself. It can be difficult to give a significant other an honest answer to a relationship question, if that answer may hurt you in the end.
20My fiance is my soulmate. We connect in ways I have never connected with another person. That being said, I agree that you need to have other support systems. There have been times when my fiance will tell me something that I feel he should have confided in a friend, not me. It can get tricky if he confides in you for something that may put you against yourself. It can be difficult to give a significant other an honest answer to a relationship question, if that answer may hurt you in the end.
21My husband is without a doubt my best friend, I find myself extremely fortunate for that but I do agree with John Gray - I think you definitely need to have other close friends as well and we both do, it definitely helps when you need to vent or get a little perspective.
22My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful and I definitely think he's as close as a best friend.. But I do keep some things to myself and share them only with my close girl friends.. You should never just be with that guy and diss your girlfriends.. he should be a part of your life.. not your WHOLE life
23mine most def is, but i also have two other bffs who are always there for me
24Of course!
25I spend more time with my guy than anyone else. I'm really surprised we're not sick of each other yet. Haha He's my best friend, but I also have a best girl friend. She's just with her boyfriend all the time too.
26If your SO isn't your best friend why are you with him/her? Then it's kinda just for the sex.
But I agree about not putting all your eggs in one basket. You should have other girlfriends or just other friends in general to talk to also.
27It's really important for your partner to be a best friend, but not your ONLY friend. My BF and I were friends for years before we got together and it makes things so much easier. We are interested in the same things and don't have the friction I've had with past boyfriends. But I agree that you should cultivate other relationships also.
28I think one OF your best friends, definitely, but not the only one. I have my Hubby and my two best girlfriends. Sometimes I want to talk about "girlie" stuff, and while my husband is more than willing to listen and offer his advice, it's just not the same. I think a healthy balance is really important. My girls and I have one night a week that is ours for about 2 hours. We cherish it, and wouldn't trade it for anything. The rest of the time is for my family. I think that things like this has helped keep my marriage strong and happy for the almost 13 years we've been married.
29My fiance's definitely my best friend. There's an incredible completeness to our relationship, where we have the friendship as well as the romance, and he knows me and accepts me better than almost anyone else in the world--my many flaws and weaknesses as well as strengths.
30my fiance is one of my best friends, I think that's important for a solid relationship but you should still have your other bff's you turn to as well, you should be both dependent and independent in relationships.
31My boyfriend's my best friend, and I'm very happy about it. Being friends with your partner is the only way to have a solid base for a relationship.
32Your SO shouldn't be the only close friend in your life, or you'll have no one to turn to if/when you no longer have your SO in your life.
33my bf is my best friend. i have a few girls that i would also consider as my bff's.
34depends on the situation and the stage of the relationship. i've had relationships like that and been in that place with my husband, but honestly, i prefer (and need) to have more than one really close confident. i don't think one person can be everything to me, i'm just like that now. i have a complicated life that requires me to bounce things off people who will have a different perspective than i do. if the person has the same opinion and influances as i do on things (like my husband) what good does that do me? i need other view points. like i said, complicated.
35Hmm I think my bf is one of my best friends, not the ONE and ONLY BEST friend. He knows everything that goes on in my life and is the only person that can cheer me up and get me out of my rut in 5 minutes flat...but I do have other best gfs and best gay guy friends to confide in about stuff I don't want to discuss with my bf....like what I should get him for Christmas or what that cute coffee guy said to you in the morning as you got your morning cup of coffee
36yes, I agree with CYL. Partners should be ONE of your best friends (perhaps ahead by just a little) but we all need other friends to talk to about dramas within your relationship, go shoe shopping with, get pedicures with!
I have friends for different things
37My partner is my best friend, but I've also got a best friend outside of the relationship. I always turn to my partner first but my girlfriend is someone who I can talk to about things that gross my partner out or if we have issues with our relationship I have a friendly ear who knows that hey can rely on me in return.
38he should not be your ONLY friend. but if you can't call him your "BFF", then why would you want to spend your life with him?
39I agree that there needs to be a balance. My husband is my best friend but I also have girlfriends that I can talk to and get advice from. I can't tell my hubby everything!
40I used to think this was a good idea, until my last two boyfriends became only a best friend. I think when you share everything, the romanticism dwindles. It's incredibly heartbreaking.
41My bf is one of my best friends(we were friends for 5yrs before starting dating for a year so far) but not my only one. I want to be able to talk and vent and get different opinions on things and go out and have fun.
42My boyfriend is my best friend.
43I really don't have any other best friends either, because all of my friends moved away to school.
Which kind of sucks, because as much as I love him, I don't know if he is "the one," and I want to date other people before I settle down.
I know I can't be selfish and make him still be my best friend if I'm dating other people, but he is the best friend I've ever had.
My BF is my best friend, I happen to have found someone where that shares the same interests as I do. I can also talk to him about just about anything and I will get a truthful answer. I didn't expect this to happen, it was just an added bonus.
I still have my best friend of 8 years though and we talk about everything. I never put her off for him and he doesn't ask me to. She actually gets along with him(whichis a first for my relationships)
44my partner of 11 years is my best friend.
this does not mean that i dont have other friends that i love hanging out with (especially because my girlfriend is somewhat antisocial). but honestly i prefer spending my time with her.
45Three years ago, I started dating my best friend of the time. We questioned whether it was a good idea, and, apparently, it was. Because we already had the foundation of a best friend relationship, it continued into our romantic relationship, and, in my opinion, made our connection stronger than that I have had with any other boyfriend.
The downside is that, yes, all your eggs are in one basket. Over time, when I realized I needed another outlet, I came to confide more in female friends that I had previously had, but now, I needed them more.
The key, as with most things in life, is balance.
46my husband was one of my best friends before we even started dating... and our friendship has only gotten stronger the longer we've been together. i wouldnt have it any other way. he gets me in ways noone else has. that being said, i also confide in my mom and i have another person i'd consider a 'best friend' but she's more like a sister to me... but if someone were to ask me who my best friend, its my hubby for sure
47I have had the same best friend since I was 7, so we have been best friends for about 19 years...she is MY best friend My boyfriend is my best friend, but as my bestie and I have talked about, he is a best friend in a different way, just as her man is her bestie in a different way. It is important to have that person outside of your relationship who understands you better than anyone and to vent to.
48My boyfriend is my best friend, yes. I can trust him with everything. Other people have come and gone but he is always there for me.
49he's definitely my bff.
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