Should Wives of Scandal Stand by Their Men?

Yes some wives may actually forgive their husbands and want to work on their marriage and continue with it. But I find it hard to believe that every single one of these numerous wives feel that way so that leads me to believe that some of it is politics.
Anyways, whether she truly wants to be there or it's politics I think they should be allowed to deal with it in private.
So I voted "I'm disgusted. These women should be allowed to suffer in private."

Makes them look weak, like fools, like calculating people, like they're only it for the money blah blah blah, cue a picture of Hillary Clinton. If I am being faithful to you I expect the same damn courtesy especially in this day of AIDS and STIs. HIV doesn't recognize governors, senators or presidents and I would be furious that you put my life in jeopardy with your callousness.

i think it depends on each situation. like i understand why cindy mccain would stand next to him. i dont' believe that he would have an affair with the lobbyist. but like senator craig? where it seems kinda obvious, i guess hse must be a very good person to forgive him so easily.

It's hard for me to say. I don't know what their relationships are like. Perhaps she isn't an innocent victim, perhaps she is.

I know that I, personally, wouldn't stay with someone who's been unfaithful. It just isn't something I tolerate.

All I know is I sure as heck wouldn't be standing up there next to him! It's not to say that I would never forgive him, but I would NOT want to be standing up next to him immediately after finding out that news myself.

how does that song go? Stand by your man... don't know the rest of the lyrics

I don't think they should have to stand there for the sake of politics...Honestly, if he made her stand up there, he did himself more harm than good...watching her suffer just reinforces what he did. I mean look at her!

I dont think John McCains case is the same as McGreevy and now Spitzer... McCain's was BS and everyone knew it, McGreevy and Spitzer both have proof of their indescretions and admitted to it...

I wouldn't fault anyone for choosing to or choosing not to stand by their man. Marriage is hard and no one knows exactly what goes in someone elses. Personally, I couldn't do what McGreevy's wife and Spitzer's wife did.

I hope she takes him for all he is worth!

If my husband cheated he would be A$$ out!

It's not fair to expect a woman to ditch her husband because of what other people think. It's no one's business but theirs. If you think it automatically makes them weak, I have news for you: sticking a marriage out and trying to make it work is a lot harder than just bailing when one half of the team makes a huge mistake. Giving up is weak, staying and fighting to save a marriage takes courage and determination.

What's unfair is she probably found out just hours before the public did, and she has to "woman up" in front of the news media. They have three children, all girls, ages 12, 14, and 17. I'm more concerned how this will be explained to them. He cheated on his wife and family and by the way, what he did is illegal and something as Attorney General he fought against for years. Shame on him!

Why wasn't Hillary mentioned at all in the post? I don't get it.

AKirstin, staying in after you've been cheated on doesn't automatically make someone smart or strong either. Sometimes it just means someone is so stupid or insecure that they will allow themselves to be treated like that.

It's highly situational.

We all know they standing up their for the camera but giving him he** at home. She may be beating his a** and then gets in public and smile. I bet they make them pay in one way or another.

I would think it's none of my business. For all we know these women may have cheated on their husbands at one point. The facts are we don't know the whole story. We just know what's printed or on air in the news. I'm not defending the men's actions,I'm just thinking we should think about the big picture. Sorry to break it to some people but a lot of people cheat..married or in a relationships and it's not unusual for both partners to be cheating. What the governor did was horrible and most people aren't blaming his wife so it's not a walk of shame for her, it's a walk of shame for him.

I don't understand why one would stand by a cheating spouse for the sake of that spouse's political career. Wouldn't ruining the political career just be icing on the cake of dumping the person? I don't know - not my relationship so not my place to say. And I haven't been cheated on either, so I can't say how I'd react.

I think that there are special conditions for political wives, and women who marry men whom they know have political ambitions (or already have political careers) are probably well aware that they may have to make some sacrifices of pride in order to help further their partner's careers. I'm not saying I agree with that--I sure as hell wouldn't be standing up there trying to act okay with a husband that betrayed me, just for the sake of his career--I'm just saying that I think political marriages must be vastly different from private-sector ( ) marriages. It seems that one probably goes into it knowing that one will be exploited to further the political spouse's career, and must have to agree to that somewhat.

If my husband cheated on me all he** would break lose.

i don't think it's right of you to post a picture of john mccain when it was mere speculation in the article in the times while you left out a picture of hillary clinton.

Adultery is an issue between the two spouses and their families and it's not for public discussion. The only time the public has any concern is when an actual government law is broken by either spouse while committing said act. But other than that all other aspects are familial and private.

As a child, my dad was a serial adulterer. Lucky for me I did not find out until I was 12 then I was upset, hurt and confused. Later after my mom died, my resentment of what my dad had done to my mom by having adulterous affairs nearly forever ruined my relationship with my dad, until I realized that he hadn't cheated on me but cheated on my mom and she tolerated it and made peace with it (for reasons not known to me or my siblings).

Just because I came from her body and loved her deeply and he hurt her didn't mean that my dad was trying to hurt me or my siblings. I realized that there were issues in my parents marriage that didn't involve me and there were issues in my dad's life that lead him to do what he did. Once I realized that it was and had always been up to my mom to decide how to handle the situation and her decision was to stay with my dad until she felt he couldn't change his behaviour despite his best efforts. Then she decided to divorce him but she died before the papers were served.

It's completely the spouses decision how to handle a trust breaking issue.

it's all about what they're comfortable with. while i do think a lot of times it's a political move to show the wife standing side by side with her husband as they admit affairs and stuff, she still agreed to do it. personally, if my husband cheated on me i'd stand by his side until the cameras were on and i could kick his ass in front of the public, but to each their own. i think some women really can forgive their husbands (and vice versa) for those types of indiscretions.

wackdoodle...you stated your point beautifully

obviously every relationship is private, and each person in a relationship has the right to choose whether or not that relationship can be salvaged after a trauma.

i personally do not think that i would be able to forgive my husband for setting up a bogus corporation in order to pay over $4,000 to prostitues, and (as i saw on the news - which it may or not be true) ask them to do some pretty funky things, as well as pay for them to cross state lines (which is a felony). especially after he was always so gung ho about keeping the law - and in 2003 went after prostitution rings with a passion.

however, i obviously dont know all the details. and there are kids involved.

i am all for gov. spitzer to step down or be impeached, but i feel for his family. and my heart goes out to them. especially the kids. this must be awful for them.

Extramarital affairs need to stay between the husband and wife. It sucks when political players start playing on someone else's field, and we need to know that, ONLY because we need to know if someone is not the person we thought we elected. We do know that our officials are human, though. Don't we?

I think serious action needs to be taken only when they're doing something illegal (like Spitzie), and if they're using public money to fund it. Otherwise, I don't see why a *sincere* apology is often not accepted.

As for the wives, they should be allowed to suffer in private, but unfortunately, that never happens anymore. The best thing she can do is not talk about it to the press. If she hides her feelings, she'll either be seen as "frigid" or "inhuman", if she smiles too much and laughs it off, she'll be seen as "foolish", and if she shows too much emotion, she'll just be stereotyped as that "typical woman". It's a lose-lose for Mrs. Spitzer, and often for any woman in her position.

Let them work it out, or not.

If I had to stand by my man through a press conference where he was apologizing for doing wrong, I think the urge would be too hard not to smack him with his own microphone.

So the political people would probably want to give me a wide berth and keep me away from cameras.

I feel it is their decision whether or not they stand by their husband.

Just because their initial response is to stay and forgive does not mean that this will be their ultimate decision. These are real relationships. It may take them time to decide what they want to do. They may feel empathy for the person they love and not want to subject them to public ridicule by leaving them while a voyeuristic nation examines their personal relationships under the pretext of examining the political issue. They may not want their own loss to become fodder for public attention because their spouse is under scrutiny. In short, they may want time to examine the relationship and its possible failings in private with their life partner and to deal with whatever decision they come to in privacy once the media frenzy has died down.

Raising the topic seems to me like a callous and cynical way of placing the spouses in the spotlight as well in the hopes of seeing the train wreck of their marriage. The American public has become accustomed to their reality TV.

What these people do in their own private time really isn't up to us. For some people, a marriage is worth saving. For others, it's not. A lot of times when people cheat, it is indicative of another problem in the marriage. I'm not saying that's an acceptable excuse by any means, just that there may be deeper underlying problems. I personally think people should at least try to work things out instead of bailing immediately, but each situation is unique and must be handled the best way for the individuals in the situation.

Oh, and I agree, tsk tsk for including a picture of McCain; his situation was completely different than these other ones.

It's up to them -- be they political or celebrities or neither.

I think it is ok to include a picture of McCain. Sometimes, when reading just a few celeb gossip magazines I wonder why a woman stands by her man. Gossip needs to be addressed here too, and the McCain situation is a perfect example of that.

It's all politics. These women stand besides their men to take them from looking like jerks, to looking like a tragedy. Usually, the woman stands by her man in the first hours, and then (if allegations prove true) they're gone soon after. I don't like them being used as political props.

I don't think they should stand up there if they didn't support what their husband was doing or at least if they aren't prepared to forgive. I don't think it's that outrageous that someone in a 20 year marriage might "ok" a night of extramarital sex. We never know what goes on in a marriage that leads to this. Over the course of the Clintons' marriage for example, maybe a blowjob just wasn't that big of a deal to Hillary (at least personally, I bet politically that she was majorly angry).

I think the Spitzer situation is different because prostitution is illegal in DC and NY. He didn't just get a blowjob, he broke the law as a politician who is supposed to be helping enforce the laws. I don't think women are perfect either, but there is no way an intelligent woman would in any way approve of her husband breaking the law in such a scandalous manner while he was in office.

In general I think we shouldn't judge these women, since we don't know what goes on, but I think Silda Spitzer should have given Elliot Spitzer a reality check and refused to stand by his side.

I think these women stay because they're in love with the lifestyle, not their husbands. You have to be incredibly naive or incredibly stupid to marry a politician (same with professional athletes and musicians...heck, anyone in the public eye) and expect not to get cheated on. I used to work around a lot of athletes and even the ones you'd think were good guys had girlfriends in addition to their wives. And most of the wives knew and didn't care!

That's not to say that EVERYONE in the public eye does that, but it is much more common than most people seem to think. We can say that we'd leave our husbands because they cheated on us, because for the most part, we are not the kind of people who would marry someone for the lifestyle.

I think it's none of our business. we know nothing of their private relationship.
If it were me, I would have said "you're on your own, buddy." Prostitution...it's not just cheating. It's filthy, cheap, and dangerous in more ways than one. Just like soliciting for it in an airport bathroom. That's completely foul, and reckless. I would have none of it! Forgiveness is easy, but I'd gone faster than you can say "lawyer."

I think it's completely up to the woman. My choice may not be her choice, but if they make the decision to stand with a man they promised to stand by in good times and bad who am I to say anything? I think the larger issue is that we are consuming their humiliation as entertainment under the guise of being informed. I think a lot of these things are not necessarily any of our business unless as stated before an actual law is broken. I personally feel bad for these women because whether the accusations against their husbands are true or not they still get labeled weak and phony by a massive group of people that don't know the intimate details of their relationship.

I dont think you can say that, across the board its all the same. Im sure some of these woman have are truely standing by their men and truely forgiving them. I think though that others are just all about the image..keeping up the lifestyle that they have grown accustomed to. Like someone else siad, it is completely situational and we cant say they are all this or all that.

I'm shocked at two things:

1) That the post just assumes these women were FORCED against their will to stand up by their men. Sorry, but barring being dragged kicking and screaming, all these women made a CHOICE, whether we agree with it or not.

2) Lumping McCain into this group implies that he has admitted any wrongdoing and that his wife should have fled based on rumor and speculation. It's simply not comparable.

It's their decision to make, all i know is that if that was my husband with prostitutes i would not be standing by his side looking like an idiot and be like Oh, hunny it's ok you spent thousands and thousands of dollars of our money on hookers. Nope not gonna happen. I know they have kids but how do you think those kids will look at their mother when they are older? This is just my opinion

It's sending the wrong message to people that she condones being cheated on, and it's ok to break the law and support criminals. She's an idiot!

Think about it, those B*tches are set for Life! those men will never deny them anything! foot rub? sure honey! take the garbage out? Im tired,,,,oh wait no i am not Sure honey!

I can understand women forgiving their men for infidelity if they feel like it. But a prostitution ring????

I don't believe they were 'made' to stand next to their husbands (I at least hope not and highly doubt it). Even if they were highly pressured to...these women had the final choice as to whether or not to stand next to their husbands as they made public announcements/apologies/resignations.

As odd as it sounds, if prostitution were legal, I would rather have my husband cheat on me with a prostitute than have a long, drawn out affair with someone else. With a prostitute, it would about sex, but with a lot of other affairs, it's about a lot more. I think the former would be easier for me to forgive.

But that's just me.

lilkimbo-He didnt just have sex with a prostitute, he was involved in a prostituation ring, HUGE difference.

I realize that. I wasn't commenting on that really in relation to Spitzer, just in general. I'm well aware of the story; please don't assume I'm not.

prostitution*

And, just so we're clear, the stories report that he was a client of the prostitution ring, not an administrator or anything like that. So, yeah, he actually pretty much did just have sex with prostitutes. At least that's all he's admitted to and all that's come out so far.

From Tammy Wynette:
Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

LOL...someone asked for this. As to the question: I think that every single relationship is completely different. There is no way to answer the question in a "general" way. It's up to the woman and her personal experience. I don't think women should be shamed for staying with or leaving a cheating spouse. It's their decision.

I really think it all depends on the couple and their relationship, as well as the nature (and severity) of the offense... me, personally, in a case like Spitzer's, well, I'd divorce him ASAP. The McCain thing was BS, so I don't think there's a reason to feel bad for Cindy; but in general I think it just varies from couple to couple.

"He didnt just have sex with a prostitute, he was involved in a prostituation ring, HUGE difference."

His involvement in a prostitution ring involved his being a client, hence having sex with a prostitute. He was not involved in running the ring. By the same token someone buying drugs or gambling in Vegas is involved in organized crime! Now precisely why in the world is it our business what goes on in the private relationship he has with his wife?

By the by, I agree with Lilkimbo here. It would be worse to have a spouse who was cultivating a deep emotional relationship with another person.