Should I Have a Threesome?

Sunday Confessional: I Want a Threesome

August 1, 2010

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

My hubby and I talk about a threesome but it's more of me wanting to see or watch him have sex with another woman. Should we do it?

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16 Comments

RioVonWolf 2 years 38 weeks

I have has threesomes and they were great fun! I suggest that you look around for more people that would be good. One thing, pick very wisely and enjoy watching or joining in.

shonee 2 years 42 weeks

**********************************Off topic************************************ VictoriaW What makes a person sick? Just cause they arent just like you. Your opoions are just that your views. Dont ever go around calling people sick or say they need psychiatric help. Almost Ever man has thought about a 3some at least once in his life. So every man is sick right. No Not at all there is nothing wrong with being curious. I am now married for 5 yrs in Feb 2011. But before i met my hubby I dated girls and only girls. And I had 3somes. That was me I didn't force my views on anybody and I didn't go around trying to turn every str8 women gay ( just a few). Anybody who didn't like it I wouldn't bring my friends around. Even now that I am married I still look at women and appreciate the female form. My hubby knew from start. All Im gonna say about the topic is just take time. And think can you picture your mate kissing, touching, caressing, licking or staring at another the same way they do you. If you can then MAYBE you are ready for a 3some but once you step over that door way you cant undo it. You cant wipe that memory from your mind. ************************

vmruby 2 years 42 weeks

Never a good idea to bring a third person into a relationship for sex even if it's only a one time thing.....

Pistil 2 years 42 weeks

I bet she's listening to that gosh darn rock and roll music too, right VictoriaW?

2 years 42 weeks

There are more important things to think about in the real world than bs stupid fantasies hello.... Morality is not a fear. Insane fantasies are the work of the devil. Give in to the dark side and see where it takes you in the end.

Pistil 2 years 42 weeks

It seems kind of masochistic to me... I wouldn`t be able to handle it, and if you have to ask a bunch of strangers online, I`d say you`re not prepared to handle it either.

amandachalynn 2 years 42 weeks

We went to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. I felt more comfortable going to a place with experienced professionals who know how to make you feel comfortable, plus you don't have to worry about running into them in the grocery store(unless you live near there I guess!). Also, the Bunny Ranch has very high safety standards and the girls are tested all the time for STIs. Also, just to throw it out there, when people tell perfect strangers they need psychiatric help(especially for a relatively tame fantasy, considering) they are USUALLY projecting their own fears, insecurities and deeply secreted desires. Think twice and look deeply before you tell someone they need help.

Studio16 2 years 42 weeks

Well, I don't think that you need psychiatric help, but I do think you need to look at why you want this. Like others have said, threesomes usually leave a couple feeling resentful/jealous. It's probably best left in your head unless you're sure it's what you really, really, absolutely positively want. This isn't one of those things where you can be like, "Oh, maybe, we can try it." No. You have to know for sure. Good luck!

2 years 42 weeks

Perhaps a strip club would be a good place to start, maybe with a trip to the Vip lounge. A swingers club might be a good start also. You could talk to others, perhaps find a group that is good for you. Many groups won't allow a couple to join if they do not seem to have a strong marriage. There are many online groups to help get you involved in the community.

2 years 42 weeks

Funny I never have these sick thoughts thank goodness. Just because you want something doesn't make it normal. I want to rob a bank and make a million dollars should I do it? Tell me yes or no. Get my drift? You need psychiatric help sorry to say if you want to watch your husband with someone else.

2 years 42 weeks

Definitely do baby steps until you're absolutely positive that it is something you want. I like Beety Wayne's idea of the strip club first. You could also try taping a roleplay....maybe seeing yourself acting/looking like someone else will give the same feel of acually seeing him be with someone else, minus bringing in another person. Or skip the camera and put a bunch of mirrors around. There are lots of things you could try.

2 years 42 weeks

Betty Wayne put it perfectly when she said some fantasies are best left in your head. The strip club is a good idea too.

spacekatgal 2 years 42 weeks

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spacekatgal 2 years 42 weeks

I don't think you should do it if you value your marriage. I'm bisexual, have had more girlfriends than boyfriends, and definitely understand the urge. But, if it's even a 10 percent risk of introducing instability in your marriage - it's just not worth it to me. Watch porn instead. We do.

lixystix 2 years 42 weeks

I agree with Betty Wayne completely. You have to dive deep and think about your intentions here...if it's all lusty and romanticized right now that's fine (and expected). Just be sure to really look at the potential for issues afterwards. It may be "hot" to look at in your head, but take baby steps getting into bed with it (literally) because jealousy can be a very powerful emotion.

Bettye Wayne 2 years 42 weeks

Well, if you're just looking for a yes or no answer, I can't help you there. But I can at least share a few ideas. My ex- we were never married but we lived together- we wanted to have a threesome but (for a whole slew of reasons) never found a girl we were both comfortable with. So we compromised by going to the strip club together, quite a few times, actually. Maybe it would help you decide if you'd like to see him have sex with another woman if you just see him get a lap dance from one. Maybe you would even decide you'd like to join! Also, are you bi? Or is seeing him with another woman just a fantasy of yours? Do you maybe secretly want to sleep with other people, and you think maybe if you let him, he'll let you? I don't expect you to answer, like I said, I'm just throwing out ideas. I read some 'Dear Abby' sex advice column quite a few years ago, a man had the fantasy of seeing his wife with another man, but after it happened he was totally turned off by her, felt dirty touching her since she had 'betrayed' him. I don't remember what the advice was, and really, he made his bed and now he's got to sleep in it, if you know what I mean. What I'm getting at is, some fantasies are best left in your head. I've also heard that threesomes have a reputation for stirring up all sorts of resentful feelings between partners, in general. Never had one, so I can't tell you for sure. Reading this might help you a little: http://caf-kama-sutra.tressugar.com/Threesomes-really-recipe-DOOM-7065088

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16 Comments

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