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Self-Help: Overcoming Shyness

When you go to a party, do you find yourself sitting in the corner, watching everyone else? When you meet new people, are you scared to open your mouth because you have nothing to say, or are you worried people may laugh about what you do say or think you're stupid? Being shy has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself. If you are self-conscious in any way, you'll cower and shrink.


Shyness, although part of your genetic makeup, may feel debilitating, but here are some techniques you can use to come out of your shell.

  • Since shyness has a lot to do with self-confidence, work on ways you can feel good about yourself. Exercise, eat healthy, get a fabulous haircut, go shopping for a new outfit - do things that help you believe that you are an amazing and worthwhile person. If you believe it, you'll be able to exude that feeling to others.
  • Be prepared. If you know of a certain social situation that's coming up, pick out your outfit, decide how you are going to do your hair, get directions, make sure your car has enough gas, and so on. Then try and make a list of topics you can talk about. You can even practice what you're going to say out loud. Once all these details are ironed out, you'll feel more confident.
  • Try relaxation techniques. Before attending an event or party, take a few moments to sit quietly with yourself. Try to envision a strong and confident you strutting into the place, feeling happy, energetic, and proud, and having wonderful conversations. Imagining yourself having a positive experience will bring you one step closer to achieving it.

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  • Expand your comfort zone. You can do this by trying out new restaurants, signing up for a class, going to a gym, or volunteering. The more people you meet, the more personalities you'll be confronted with, and the more practice you'll have interacting. The more familiar you feel in different social situations, the easier it will be in the future.
  • When people talk to you, be attentive and engage in what they are saying. Ask a lot of questions about them and concentrate on their answers. If you ask all the questions, then you won't have to feel flustered about answering their questions.
  • Let your close friends know about your shyness. When other people know, they can offer emotional support, which will help to ease your nerves. Maybe you can brainstorm techniques together to help overcome these feelings. Also, if your friends are at the next social even you go to, they can help introduce you to new people, so you feel less like an outsider.
  • Use Talk Therapy. Seeing a therapist, and talking about your issues may help to get to the root of your shyness. They could determine that your timid feelings are caused by an emotional condition such as Anxiety or Depression.

I hope these tips help and if any of you suffer from shyness, please share some techniques that have helped you in the past.

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