Relationship Protocol: How Do You Handle Crises?

October 31, 2008

The strength of a relationship is put to the test when the going gets tough. As painful as a difficult situation can be, if you can make it through, then you'll know your relationship has grown. But reacting well to a crisis doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and is often something that must be learned over time. Has your relationship ever been challenged by an outside problem? How are you and your boyfriend when it comes to dealing with situations that are out of your control?

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18 Comments

bluesteyes 4 years 28 weeks

The only crisis that i would avoid is not to get into a fight with his mum. This my partner is capable of doing himself. I don't need to go there..They get there together when she speaks too much and speaks about stuff that aren't her business. I just don't say anything. I back my hubby of course but there is no way I will get involved directly with his mum. She's ill (physically) and she's much older. I just let her mouth speaks whatever comes to her mind and ignore her. I leave the room usually. There is no point, she's too old to change and I really don't fancy wasting my precious time arguing with her.

bluesteyes 4 years 28 weeks

And if you have a partner like mine, I suggest do not give in. If you do this makes it worse, stand your ground and tell him he's being an idiot by being the way he is. No relationship is perfect, sometimes you just have to do this, it's a pain i know

bluesteyes 4 years 28 weeks

this depends on what comes our way, sometimes he himself creates the crisis on us! My partner does not have time for anything silly, and sometimes I do tell him he's being too much. We handle this okay. It ranges from a big fight to laughters. Have you seen Ghost Town? Well the dentist reminds me off him a bit and I told him that too

ilanac13 4 years 28 weeks

well - it's not so much a crisis - but i broke my knee VERY early in our relationship and i couldn't do anything for myself so we ended up living together and being together almost 24/7 (we also worked at the same company). i think that it made our relationship a lot stronger faster than i would have expected. the other thing is that he's had some job messiness and right now doesn't have a job. i think that it's really putting a strain on things, but i can only hope that we'll come out of it on top. i'm as supportive as i can be and i try to be upbeat about it all, but the challenge is that he gets depressed and being able to try to keep bringing him up is one of the hardest things that i've had to do but it's worth it if it helps

Phunkometry 4 years 28 weeks

Luckily, we have not had any catastrophes in the 2 years we've been together, other than my grandmother's death, which we helped each other get through (he got very close with her right away, she really loved him). But anyone in the NYC area reminded of Wednesday's Child with Janice Huff on ch. 4? In terms of the picture, I mean.

stumbler02 4 years 28 weeks

I'm dealing with an extremely difficult set of circumstances in my life this year and my relationship has had to suffer a lot as a result. Because of my situation, I haven't been able to see my boyfriend more than a few hours every couple weeks. It's almost worse than a long-distance relationship, because the rest of my life is similarly limited, not just my relationship with my boyfriend. And it's probably going to be this way for another 9-10 months. I feel like these challenges have 1) made me a stronger person by forcing me to be less dependent on my boyfriend, 2) given my boyfriend an opportunity to show how supportive and loyal he can be, and 3) strengthened my love and appreciation for my boyfriend. We've realized through these tough times how much we mean to each other and how much we count on each other being there. I think in the end, once this passes (as all things do), we'll be grateful that we had this experience. It'll make us value our future time together so much more. We won't take each other for granted ever again.

Amandaletta 4 years 28 weeks

My bf is 25% owner of my parents custom software developing company and recently they have had to fire/not give any work to all of their subcontractors because they can't afford to pay them currently. And now it's looking like they may have to shut down the company but my bf and my parents are working hard to make sure that doesn't happen and I am here as his support through all of this. It's be hard and stressful on him and I am here to help and support him in this hard time.

Muirnea 4 years 28 weeks

Angela123: Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you! Your comment was just to funny though! LOL. :) I hope you're ok!!! I've only been with my bf for a month, but I have a feeling that if anything happened to either of us, the other would handle it well. We are both very logical and so if something happened to me, he would stay calm and think out solutions and be comforting and vice versa. And even if we weren't the best at helping each other the first time something happened, I am totally confident that he would be trying his best to make everything better and would learn from things that go wrong, and I would do the same for him. We can fix anything together b/c we are both extremely willing to try and are open to the other person's ideas and feelings if there is a problem. Omg, I love him so much, LOL LOL LOL. :)

lickety split 4 years 28 weeks

unfortunately we have had so much practice that it is literally just another day at the office for us. it's been calm for a year now, no crisis, so it might be different next time.

luckyme 4 years 28 weeks

We deal with stressful situation very, very well. He is unbelievably supportive when I'm going through something, and when he is dealing with something, I am good at pulling him out, as he tends to pull inward. We're a great team.

mama8699 4 years 28 weeks

You know your with the right person when you can take turns helping each other. My husband have endured some major hurdles in our almost 10 years together and we always look back on what we've overcome knowing that whatever is ahead of us we can handle because we have been thru so much together. The most important thing to do is not turn against one another...but to be a source of comfort for each other and never give up. One year in particular a few years ago was especially trying. My mother and his parents died, he was laid off from his job, we had to put one of our cats down and we were in a financial crises like never before, all in a year's time. We've had a few more "fun" years, and I know there will more to come, but I know we'll always get through it.

Jude C 4 years 28 weeks

This is one of our great strengths. Our teamwork and sense of partnership and communication really come out well during tough times.

kellys 4 years 28 weeks

this isn't exactly a helpful "how to handle it" post, but 2007 brought my husband and i 2 cancer-related deaths (my father, his mother), plus a couple more. we moved. we had multiple work-related catastrophes, two of our closest friends (and key supports) ended their relationship in a very ugly manner, and to top it off, i was pregnant almost the entire time. basically the only "life changing" thing that *didn't* happen last year was strife in our marriage. how did we handle it? we took turns being the "needy" person and looked after each other as best we could. it was an incredibly difficult year, but the fact that supporting each other was so natural was a source of comfort. it still is. :)

Angela123 4 years 28 weeks

My boy and I are a pretty great team. I tend to NOT handle a crisis well, and he (who can be a little hot-headed sometimes) is really great about stepping in and being the calm one when I'm freaking out. Although, the other night I got bitten pretty badly by a pit bull, and there was a ton of blood, and my boyfriend pretty much ran around screaming incoherently and (literally) waving his arms, while I mopped the blood off my face and told him to get a hold of himself! :rotfl: Wasn't funny then, but I think we've found our happy medium of knowing that if one of us can't handle the situation, the other has to step in and be the voice of reason. Even if they are bleeding from the face.

skigurl 4 years 28 weeks

something came up 3 weeks ago and we handled it like a pro team after less than 3 months of dating i have to say, i'm very very happy with the way things are going because we were able to handle the situation with maturity and helped each other through it

leb357 4 years 28 weeks

My bf just found out about 4 hours ago that his grandma, who he was VERY close to died last night. we've only been together about 5 months, the past 2 long distance. He's 500 miles away so it's not even feasible to pop over and see him. He's supposed to come visit me in a week, so I guess I'll better be able to answer this then.

Lovely_1 4 years 28 weeks

My bf and I are going through a rough time right now. Something horrible just happened to his brother, and my bf has had to take over his whole life. Finances, payments, running his companies and he is really stressed. We are relying on each other so much at this point. I help him as much as I can and try to help him stay on top of everything (trust me theres a lot). I know if something bad happened to me, he would be there no matetr what, helped me with anything he could. So it's only right to give him as much support and love and help as I can.

bikinib7 4 years 28 weeks

This is a worrying situation for me. This past summer, my boyfriend's grandma died.. on the same day of his dad's death 2 years before. He was very stressed and pushed me away... we've talked a lot about dealing with problems and hard situations better next time and have been working on communication, but I guess you can't really tell until something happens again...

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