Relationship Protocol: How Do You Feel About Boys' Night?

October 9, 2008

We all know that boys will be boys, but when they are in a relationship, time with the guys becomes all the more important. Just as women need alone time with their friends, men desire the same interaction. But I've noticed a common theme when my girlfriends tell me about their significant others' nights out: they're constantly up to no good, drinking too much, staying out too late, and spending too much money. Of course it's their life and they can live it however they see fit, but when it compromises their girlfriends' feelings, something has to change. So ladies, how do you feel when your significant other goes out with the guys? Is it a cause for contention, or are you a supporter of boys' night out?

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53 Comments

anglkiss8 1 year 49 weeks

I agree with Skigirl and others that most of you girls are delusional. I am happily married. My husband does have guys nights every couple of weeks. If your husband/boyfriend is going with the guys out to clubs, you think he is there to socialize with his friends??? Think again. You can trust him all day and back, but I guarantee you he wouldn't be in a club if he wasn't up to no good.

3 years 9 weeks

So if the guy went out dancing all night and came home trashed with a rose a woman gave him, would it still be ok?

3 years 31 weeks

well - to be honest, i used to work in the adult entertainment industry. no boys night out is fine for me - because anything that is said and done can be said and done infront of me - and if it cannot be, then it is not acceptable under any circumstances : like discussing how they would like to have sex with the woman infront of them because of her legs and saying how they would like to touch her breasts. any woman who is married and thinks it is 'fine' and good for her husband to do that has self respect issues and low self esteem, and is also afraid to speak up for herself... so basically - i pity most of you who have answered so far! Thank God I sorted this issue out with my husband!

3 years 40 weeks

it always bewilders me how women assume that men think like them and that a boys night out is just like a night out with the girls - if only they knew! i've been out on some boys nights out and away on shoots with men from work and its always the ones you think are the most family-committed guys and wonderful husbands and dads that are chatting up the girls and trying to get lucky. it makes me laugh when women say 'oh, my man isn't like that, he'd never cheat on me'...although i suppose its nice if you can believe that. anyway, i think nights out doing things together with the lads are healthy and guys should go out when they want really but nights out clubbing, coming home past midnight, etc will always spell trouble girls!

3 years 46 weeks

It's been quite a rough experience with me, because of my trust issues from my past experiences, which made me sometimes a little controlling, which made him fear telling me what he did with his buddies, eventually doing disrespectful things (smoking behind my back, searching for women on Craigslist)... so I realized that my trust issues from the past shouldn't influence my current relationship and as hard as it is for me to trust him now based on what he has already done (he never cheated on me, but he did lie numerous times), I honestly HAVE to trust him if I want this to work. No matter what, he is his own individual and he is free to do whatever he wants to do, and me putting restrictions will only make him want to rebel and not value the relationship he's currently in. So it's a behavioural change from both of us, I have to accept, understand and trust him and he has to appreciate that and respect our relationship by not doing stupid things.

ilanac13 4 years 30 weeks

i thikn that it's fine for there to be a boys night and i always encourage my fiance to go out with his boys when the opportunity comes up. we think that they are doing crazy things, but in my experience, they are just drinking beer, playing cards or doing something equally mundane, they aren't out at clubs doing insane crazy things.

xojennifer 4 years 31 weeks

Im totally for boys' nights. I dont like them so much because I have terrible trust issues, but it makes my boyfriend so happy and deep down I do trust him. Its not really him I dont trust, its his buddies he goes out with. Some of them I dont mind when he goes out with them, but the others still havent quite grown up yet (heck, some of them dont even have a job for god's sake! all they do is go out and get wasted and do different girls everynight). Luckily, he barely ever goes out because an ideal night for him is sitting down all night playing his video games ;) What I dont get is why everyone on here need their man to leave in order to be able to have "me" time? or watch their favorite show? or whatever else was mentioned? I can easely do all of this even if my boyfriend is home! :)

Muirnea 4 years 31 weeks

LOL LOL at said8me and bluestar. :D bijou boheme: "if he acts like he's single in the club, you'll wise up and leave his ass." I totally agree. I'm all for a boys night, but not in a partying, drinking, going crazy sort of way. As long as he remembers and cares about the fact that he has a gf, it's all good. If he doesn't, I'm gone.

designerel 4 years 31 weeks

Definitely not opposed to boys' night. I'd be a little more concerned if they were going to a club though...

sparklestar 4 years 31 weeks

I have no issue with him going out with his friends, he just doesn't. We're not the "going out and drinking" types.

baybelle 4 years 31 weeks

At first the thing what bothered me was him staying out WAY later than he planned, drinking WAY more than he planned and most importantly *driving afterwards* (of course he didn't PLAN to drink - yeah, right!). Now it doesn't bother me at all because he is under strict injunction to use a cab and leave his car wherever - I really don't mind the drinking and staying up once in a while as long as he's not driving. As for the trust issue, I got none and never did. Oh yeah - and if I decide to stay out till whatever time with my friends, he hates it, but can't say anything at all because I am so cool with his going out once in a while. Ha ha! Forward thinking!

lexichloe 4 years 32 weeks

ALL FOR IT! If you have a semi-normal, trusting relationship, there should be no harm. I look forward to my gal nights, he needs to have his guy nights.

Mod 4 years 32 weeks

I have never worried about a boyfriend going out for boys night and cheating on me. I think most people who cheat find someone at work or somewhere they can develop a meaningful connection. And I don't really know what you can do about that...

bluebird 4 years 32 weeks

skigurl, I absolutely HATE the way my fiance acts around his friends, but it makes him SO HAPPY and he loves being with them so much, that I gladly shove him out the door in their direction with a backpack full of beer and fruit snacks. He gets to do boy things and play with his pals, and I get to do... whatever I want! Which is usually read a book, catch up on my girly TV shows, or eat ice cream/cheesecake/something fattening and delicious for dinner. Besides, I always get a ton of cute, sweet messages about how much he misses me and likes me. Who doesn't love it when that happens?

bchicgrl 4 years 32 weeks

I don't think there is anything wrong with a boys night, just like we need time to bond with our friends they need time as well. It's healthy to spend some time apart, if you were around each other all the time you would go crazy. my fiance is going on on a boys night tomorrow for the first time in awhile so i'm quite happy knowing i'll have the place to myself and like Monday and Said have mentioned, i can catch up on my shows on DVR. It's a win win for all. :)

CYL 4 years 32 weeks

LMAO skigurl...same boat..but I am procrastinating a contract. But yes skigurl, I think sometimes we women don't want to see the truth, but we ultimately know deep down if something is going down, we just don't like to see it.

skigurl 4 years 32 weeks

obviously i'm bored at work and may be beating a dead horse, so don't mind me....and i'm going out of town in about 10 minutes so you can argue all you want but i won't be around to fight back for a bit ;)

skigurl 4 years 32 weeks

ahha okay ladies, i see what you're saying, but what i'm saying is, not one person came onto this forum and said 'i know they're a necessary evil but i don't really like boys nights because i know the way boys can be when they're out with their single male friends' out of the 20+ people who have commented, someone is getting cheated on, and no one would be the person to admit it! i am one of the only people who said i feel BETTER when it's not a club scene and rather is just a night in watching hockey and grilling steaks....it's not that i don't trust my bf, cuz i honestly do (this one particular bf in my life is a good one) but it still doesn't mean shit doesn't go down in a bar that i wouldn't approve of. flirting and dancing and whatnot can happen to ANYONE! it happens to me when i go out with the girls, and i am sure if my bf witnessed it, he wouldnt love it...so i'm just SAYING how ironic it is that everyone on here is just gushing over trust.

runningesq 4 years 32 weeks

Indeed, CYL. In fact, 23% of statistics are false. ;)

CYL 4 years 32 weeks

I don't know skigurl...perhaps I am naive...but i don't think I would go through a relationship thinking they MAY cheat on me. Statistics do not encompass the entire truth..I just never trust them because so much more needs to be looked at other than just the results... a) where (geographically) is the sample taken b) how do you determine a control group as normal behaviour on a guys night out since our standards of measurement of what is ok are all different c) how big is the sample size? d) If it is a national survey, how many percentage of people responded? And of that percentage, what is the break down of age, geography? e) How is the question asked? f) Who did the survey? Would they have anything to prove or sell? If not..do their parent companies... g) How many times a week do the repondents go out a week without their spouses h) Do they do think they have a good relationship with their spouses g) Have they been divorced Sorry if I seem like I am questioning your thinking Skigurl, you make really valid points, I am just in the business of working with stats and etc alot ..since I am in PR and I have been trained not to just look at stats at face value.. :P

aylee 4 years 32 weeks

bluestar... lol Boys' night is totally fine with me. I trust him and he knows his limits.

CYL 4 years 32 weeks

Skigurl "i know some people trust their man and should, but some of you are ignoring the possibility that guys night = open season on girls! hello!" Um...there is no possibility my bf is like that. He has great morals, is loyal to a fault...I have full confidence in him. I have PROBABLY dated guys like that but run the other way when they exhibit asshole behaviour...you find out pretty early on which guys are like that and which guys aren't.

skigurl 4 years 32 weeks

runningesg - of course you trust him. everyone on here is saying they trust their man. i'm just saying that statistics show that some of you shouldn't! one out of every 2.7 men in america have cheated on his wife. that's huge considering the other 1.7 are probably ugly and unable anyway honestly, i trust my boyfriend right now too, but i have had other boyfriends that i haven't, and while i pretended i did, i knew deep down something was up and something was...just saying

Neekoh 4 years 32 weeks

Deidre, couldn't have said it better myself!

curiouslove 4 years 32 weeks

I totally think guy's night is a good idea. Although I love being with my boyfriend, I'd want him to have some time to kick back with his friends while I am with mine. If you can't trust your significant other to make the right decisions when he/she's out on the town, you really shouldn't be in the relationship with that person anyways...

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