Relationship Protocol: Does Your LDR Make You Feel Guilty?

October 23, 2008

For the 37 percent of you who are currently in a long distance relationship, have you ever thought about how your travel to see one another affects the environment? If so, you might feel somewhat guilty about it, but after reading this Slate article, you definitely will! Planes and automobiles wreak havoc on our environment, so when you factor in how often you're seeing each other, you're only adding to our worsening environmental crisis. Now I'm not saying you should break up, but the environmental impact is certainly something to think about if you haven't already.

So is traveling long distances to be with the one you love something that you can relate to? If so, how do you manage it?

Source

32 Comments

happyme5 3 years

So im in a LDR, but this guy doesnt make plans with me ecery few monthes. He wasa making 40k+ . He cost me a good job. All he had to do was make plans ro pay for me to see him every holiday. Things to look forward to

ilanac13 4 years

fortunately i'm no longer in a long distance relationship but i think that the travel is really something to consider these days. with the effect that it has on the environment, the thing to remember there is that you're not the only person on the plane, so it's not like you're the reason that it's flying so you can't really take the blame for that one. if you chose to fly or not, the flight would still take off. as for the driving piece -well yes there's something to be said for that, but i don't think that it would really affect my habits if i had to travel to see my man.

cravinsugar 4 years

I agree bransugar! I am SO much closer to my fiance. I am almost glad I moved because it forced us to become closer some other way than physical. And if you can deal with a relationship without being in person, how much easier it will be to deal with things in person!

bransugar79 4 years

Wow I was in along distance relationship for years and I would do it over and over and over again and never feel guilty because it was worth it to be with the man I love. Also I have to agree that there are enough obstacles to LDR's without people trying to pile more guilt on you. People really can have a relationship without being able to hump each other every night. Honestly being away from someone can give you a chance to get to know them better because you have no other option than to communicate with them. It would seem that with the growth of the internet and online dating the whole LDR issue wouldn't be so new anymore. Why is everybody still so up in arms over it?

bigestivediscuit 4 years

No I don't. And I don't feel guilty about having to take three plane trips this winter to be with the people I love whom I haven't seen in about a year.

Meike 4 years

No one is ever happy that their relationship has to be an LDR. Sorry, but love precedes any guilty conscience I have for the environment when my husband or I visit each other. We rarely see each other to begin with on his university holiday time. What about military folk? Should their love ones never visit them anymore due to guilt for the environment?

Nitachequita 4 years

Are you fricking kidding me? Feel guilty about an LDR because of travel? Should we now start feeling guilty about having kids because they add to the world's over population? This is ridiculous.

iamangiepooh 4 years

I'm in a LDR, and I don't feel guilty about it. I live in NYC so I rarely drive my car (maybe once a month IF that, and it's only a trip to the grocery store since there's no need to go all the time--there are small grocery stores all around me), and I commute to school by taking the train/bus. I've taken one trip to visit my boyfriend thus far (Las Vegas), and I plan on taking more trips out there to visit him. I absolutely care about the environment and want to be as green as possible, but in order to see my boyfriend, I'm going to take the damn plane! Lol. :)

javsmav 4 years

heh. Riding a BIKE!!! although, riding on someone's back would also be environmentally responsible.

magicpenniez 4 years

I would never feel guilty for that. EVER.

javsmav 4 years

Yes, I feel guilty about it. I love traveling--but unless you're walking or riding a back, it has serious environmental consequences. So yes, flying once a month to visit my boyfriend is not only expensive, but environmentally irresponsible. I was in a LDR for 2.5 between Chicago & DC and we each flew once a month. I finally got a job in the Chicago suburbs. We'll still be an hour away from each other, but at least we can take public transportation.

candace87 4 years

I agree with those above who've said this post is insulting and rediculous. Do you feel guilty about driving to your boyfriends house? Do you feel guilty about that winter vacation in the bahamas? Didn't think so. The plane would be making the trip wether you're on it or not. Why feel guilty? It's not like youre firing up your private jet and going from city to city every day.

jen323 4 years

then no one should travel during christmas and thanksgiving to see their families either!!! what a stupid article.

Mesayme 4 years

Any excuse to end a LDR and put two people within minutes or under one roof is good enough for me... Unfortunately, it can't always happen that way... I don't think anyone really wants to be apart, sometimes it can't be helped.

julieulie 4 years

I'm sorry, but this is a load of shit. I'm supposed to feel GUILTY about the environment because I'm in a long distance marriage and the rare opportunities when we are able to see each other, my husband either has to drive down here, or I have to take the train up to see him? So instead, he should either drop out of residency and stop saving lives as a doctor, or I should drop out of graduate school, and stop doing research in pediatric oncology and making new drugs for children with cancer. Because driving 4 hours once a month is worse than the contributions we may ultimately make to society? We didn't WANT to wind up in a long distance marriage, it wasn't our goal, but our education dictated it this way, and we'll stick through it. I really think it's a shit thing to try to make someone feel guilty about.

julieulie 4 years

I'm sorry, but this is a load of shit. I'm supposed to feel GUILTY about the environment because I'm in a long distance marriage and the rare opportunities when we are able to see each other, my husband either has to drive down here, or I have to take the train up to see him?So instead, he should either drop out of residency and stop saving lives as a doctor, or I should drop out of graduate school, and stop doing research in pediatric oncology and making new drugs for children with cancer. Because driving 4 hours once a month is worse than the contributions we may ultimately make to society?We didn't WANT to wind up in a long distance marriage, it wasn't our goal, but our education dictated it this way, and we'll stick through it. I really think it's a shit thing to try to make someone feel guilty about.

Liz4aker 4 years

This post is insulting. What is with all the negative LDR posts lately? I agree with baby soft... it is everyone else who makes me feel guilty about my LDR. If I don't get the comments about how I'm not in a "real relationship", I get the comments on what is the big rush for me to change careers inorder to move so we can be together. Now I'm supposed to feel guilty because I'm traveling to see him? This is pathetic. Sorry, rant over.

TidalWave 4 years

are you serious?! I can think of a lot more travel-focused people who should feel "guilty". I agree with bluestar about business trips. Also, what about commuters? What about people who live far away from their family? Are you saying that I should feel guilty because I voluntarily chose to move hundreds of miles away from my family and now have to hurt the environment to visit? Psh. I have a million other things to worry about than that crap.

TidalWave 4 years

are you serious?! I can think of a lot more travel-focused people who should feel "guilty". I agree with bluestar about business trips. Also, what about commuters?What about people who live far away from their family? Are you saying that I should feel guilty because I voluntarily chose to move hundreds of miles away from my family and now have to hurt the environment to visit? Psh. I have a million other things to worry about than that crap.

runnergeek 4 years

right. don't travel for business, don't travel to see your SO, don't travel to see your family. just stay home and hug a tree :)

CaterpillarGirl 4 years

I was in a LDR once for about a year. He always came to see me because a) he had the money to fly home b) his family also lived here so he came to see them also and b) he lived on a army base and if I did go and see him I had to stay in some nasty hotel in BFE.I never considered us "together" for a year, More like a Month because THAT is the amount of real time we spent around eachother in person. You never really get to know someone if they are always popping in and out of your life, its always in the "honeymoon" phase.That said, he did TRY to make me feel guilty, about not going up there enough, about hanging out with local friends, about not being there when he called, he got extremely jealous and wierd and ultimately i broke up with him his last trip down at the airport. I told him that trust is built, and guilt isnt a tool to make someone love you more.

CaterpillarGirl 4 years

I was in a LDR once for about a year. He always came to see me because a) he had the money to fly home b) his family also lived here so he came to see them also and b) he lived on a army base and if I did go and see him I had to stay in some nasty hotel in BFE. I never considered us "together" for a year, More like a Month because THAT is the amount of real time we spent around eachother in person. You never really get to know someone if they are always popping in and out of your life, its always in the "honeymoon" phase. That said, he did TRY to make me feel guilty, about not going up there enough, about hanging out with local friends, about not being there when he called, he got extremely jealous and wierd and ultimately i broke up with him his last trip down at the airport. I told him that trust is built, and guilt isnt a tool to make someone love you more.

skigurl 4 years

this is ridiculous. i know that the solution to this is: "move closer" but what about friends? i have my best friends all scattered around this country but have my boyfriend in my city. so what? no more travel ever? you must only love the people in your immediate vicinity and that's it?like cravinsugar, love wins hands down

skigurl 4 years

princess_eab 4 years

Well, I don't have a car and don't drive in my town (NYC), plus I'm pretty green in most other ways, so I don't see a transatlantic plane flight every 2-3 months as a problem. And anyway, my whole family lives in Texas, so if I weren't flying to London, I'd be flying to Texas more often - which, by the way, requires TWO planes and not just one.

Link Love

32 Comments