- Fighting unfairly: There's no nice way to fight, but it must be done. You don't want to be a dirty fighter; nor do you want to be in a relationship with one. Watch out for instigating, using sarcasm, fighting to win instead of finding a solution, changing the subject, or just plain ignoring the problem (or person).
- Holding grudges: For both people to move on, the offended person must see remorse, and the perpetrator must feel no grudge is being held. If you have to hash it out for hours or take a few weeks to think, do it. It's healthier than holding a grudge.
- Refusing to depend on the other: We all want to maintain some independence in a relationship, but if you want 100 percent of it, then you shouldn't be in one. In order to create trust, you must be dependent on each other to an extent.
- Undermining, especially public: For the most part, you should be his number-one advocate and vice-versa. If you make snide comments or jokes at the other's expense — especially in front of others — then that's a bad sign. In fact, it's one form of emotional abuse.
- Keeping a huge secret: Not everything needs to be said, but if you have a Don Draper-size secret, which you fear will change everything, then bring it up before someone else does.
- Tricking the other into a pregnancy: Both men and women are guilty of this, and I bet many have gotten away with it (if getting away with it means not breaking up). But if either party does this, then the relationship is headed nowhere healthy.
- Cheating: This shouldn't have to be said, but it happens all the time. We all define cheating differently, but its advanced forms are pretty universal. Committing it doesn't make you a bad person, but the reality is very few relationships survive infidelity: either guilt or truth undoes most in the end.
Have any to add? Or confess to?