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Physical Distance Is Creating Emotional Distance

Dear Sugar
I have been dating this wonderful guy for a year now. He is everything I could ask for, and we rarely argue. The only kink is that he lives an hour and a half away from me. I really want to go back to school in January, and we had mentioned moving in together in December.

Here's the problem; there are schools in both our areas that I could attend, but I need to register for next semester now. I don't know why I am having such anxiety about bringing up moving in together, but I need to know which school to register in! I am feeling really awkward about bringing this up because I don't want to push him.

Also, I am working opposite shifts as him and can only see him once a week. He is always with his friends when I'm at work, which doesn't bother me, but lately he has been talking a lot to one specific girl, and it's making me feel terrible. I have been snapping at him out of frustration.

I just really hate living so far apart from him and I want to know what the best way to approach moving in together is. I want to be prepared for both possibilities, so if he says that he's not ready, how can I manage a long distance relationship without seeming like a crazy possessive girlfriend?
Live With Me LuLu

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Dear Live With Me LuLu
All you really need to do is ask him to please set aside some special time this week for a talk. Then bring it up in a calm way. Tell him that you would like to move in together in December according to your initial conversation and see what he says.

But I'd encourage you to throw caution to the wind before your talk. Are you sure that you want to move in with him while all of these jealous and insecure feelings are brewing inside of you? According to the 1998 Census report, there are 5.6 million people in the United States who are living together without being formally married.

Most couples will eventually marry, however, those who don't usually find that the break-up would have been significantly less painful if they hadn't lived together.

If you think that you have a real chance at a lasting future together, then yes, go for it. Living together can be a wonderful experience, but if you are having doubts now, then wait. If a breakup occurs, it can still be extremely messy and painful. It's very similar to a divorce.

I am not trying to talk you out of it, all I am saying is beware of red flags. I think it's more important for you to be OK with him hanging out with his friends, and some mystery girl before you sign a lease together. Start with that topic and judging from his answers, see if you can literally live with his lifestyle.

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