A Bar For Mommy Is a Bar For Baby?

I would never bring my baby to a bar, so inappropriate. It's not the right enviroment for her (even if she's too young to notice) and I absolutely understand other bar goers not wanting children there. That's an adult place and persons under 18 aren't allowed in anyway.

Although I am a young mom, if I go to a bar I am more than happy not to have kids around me!

Gods. I kind of get this both sides of this too, Tres.

To be honest, I'm really annoyed when I'm at Starbucks working, and the 8 million zombie Brookline moms invade with their giant strollers. It really kills the atmosphere to share space right next to a screaming kid, not to mention the strollers take up all the room.

But, I take a breath, and realize they just need to be social. It's probably the same thing with kids and bars. One of my friends with kids I like the most keeps her playful personality be regularly scheduling Friday nights to go out drinking.

I think that when you're a parent you lose a sense of what is socially acceptable with your child.

I don't get it, how can you be social with your friends in a tavern/bar with smoke and noise? Get a baby sitter or invite your friends over to drink if it's the socializing you crave.

a lot of the bars in this story actually cater to parents. you can't ignore them in park slope (i live there--not a parent and don't plan on becoming one). they've been coming to bars like union hall for years--since before the spouse and kids. in a neighborhood with a high mean income, you can't turn away a large percentage of your customer base. i think it's annoying, sure, but then again, there are plenty of bars that don't allow kids at all, it's not hard to avoid the chillens if you want to.

to else-- FYI new york banned smoking in bars a few years ago.

I see both sides of it. When my husband and I were trying to work things out and couldn't find a sitter, we'd go to one of the bars by the house and have a happy hour date there...with the baby in the car seat in tow! (of course, I'd duck out whenever she started to cry, and smoking isn't allowed in restaurants or bars in CO). On the other hand, when I go out to a bar at night with the express purpose of getting drunk and rowdy, I do not want to be around kids.

There's a bar by my house that opens its doors to parents on Sunday afternoons, playing kid-friendly music and getting the kids out on the dance floor. Parents come to have a drink or two, socialize with their other parent friends, and have a big ol' playdate with the whole neighborhood. Childfree hipsters understand that if they come to this particular bar on a Sunday afternoon, they WILL be sharing space with kids. I think it's a wonderful compromise.

I have to say, I don't think it's right to have a baby in a bar. There are restaurants and lounges that are more family-friendly, but bringing a baby into a bar is bad parenting. Like else411 said, get a babysitter or invite your friends over. If you bring your baby into a bar, you're inviting children's services into your life.

From my understanding, the bars in Brooklyn aren't banning parents with babies altogether, but just setting a curfew for when they should be out of the bars (I think the cutoff was 7pm?), which seems totally reasonable to me.

I think that's what a sitter is for. One person (the one with the baby) shouldn't be allowed to dictate the behavior of all those in the bar. I was a waitress at a rowdy bar/restaurant and once got yelled at (by a mom) about how my skirt was too short to wear around her kids. It was the uniform. Commence eye-rolling. Anyway, I can understand wanting to get away, but if you need to bring the kids, you need to go to a kid-friendly place. If you want to drink, do it at home. I don't look kindly on adults throwing back shots who are supposed to be simultaneously responsible for the life of a small child. I like the idea of the play-date with other families during kid-friendly hours though... provided nobody is getting trashed on Sunday morning, anyway.

As a young parent, I don't think babies should be in bars. It is a business catering to drinking alcoholic beverages and people under 18 aren't allowed.. that should stand for the carried tots too.

I can COMPLETELY understand the need to be social... I have been out without my daughter probably 3 or 4 times in the almost 2 1/2 years since she's been born. We moved right before finding out we were expecting - and i only worked a short time because we both wanted a parent at home, so I have no friends in this new town. My family is insanely unreliable and its pretty much like twisting arms to get them to babysit. My mother expects me to just drop my kid off for a week with her, rather then pay her to sit for a single night. Sorry, just not that kind of parent. So while there are times i feel desperately stir crazy, I can't imagine busting into an adult only bar just so I can get out a little. There are lots of other places/things to do with your kids if you just don't have a sitter option, to keep social.

I was once at a crowded bar with my boyfriend and there was a toddler walking around (probably 2-3yo). I caught a glimpse of the child and then it disappeared into the crowd. It was such a crazy thought that someone would bring a toddler to a bar with a DJ, a dancing crowd, and a bunch of drunk college students that it made you think that you were hallucinating. They didn't leave until midnight.

Bars that cater to parents would be fine, but I know that I wouldn't go to them if I didn't have a kid.

Around where I live, people bring their kids to the bar all the time, men and women. The adults sit there and have conversations while the kids drink a pop or go to sleep.

haha omg SKG... Brookline... the things I miss about growing up in Massachusetts

for me? just another reason why I live in Manhattan and have only been to Brooklyn twice... both times to go to IKEA.

I've never been bothered when I see a kid in a bar... it happens a lot where I live. I've never seen anybody care. I've seen a lot of dogs in bars too. I guess in Reno dive bars, you've just gotta be relaxed about the fact that a pitbull and/or a child might pop in haha. And like Monique Marie, usually the kids are off drinking a soda or something and they're not bothering anyone. I've only seen it in smaller dive bars where the crowd and workers tend to all know eachother though. I've never seen it happen in larger bars that get really crowded.

To me, this is an easy one. If it's a 21 and over place, it's 21 and over. If the bar is a more family style pub then bring the kids. I am a young parent, and we have social hour at our place if we can't find a sitter. Personally, if I want to get away for a drink, the last thing I want to do is bring a 4 year old along! It's time to be Amanda for a little while, not Mom.

Oh, and I've never seen this occur late at night (except the dogs). I've never seen a child in a bar really late. The only times I've ever seen children are during the day. And I don't drink during the day normally, so that's only been like twice

My bigger problem with the Park Slope situation (and, yes, I used to live there) beyond the "baby-in-a-bar" concept is the sheer number of strollers and a disregard for common courtesy that I've witnessed time and time again. Many times, they're pushed down the sidewalk with little regard to people who have to step far out of the way, often into the street, when pals opt for the side-by-side walking style taking up the full sidewalk . . . and nevermind what happens to paws that get too close! It's that either they take up tons of space in an often standing room only bar or they are just deposited en masse on sidewalks outside of other locations (that have a "no strollers inside" sign) creating an obstacle to walking people — and, I don't even want to think what someone in a wheelchair would need to do to get around them. Yes, I know that everyone doesn't do this, but imagine what would happen if a group of people decided to bring their bicycles inside a bar, too. Why does a stroller and a child allow for an alternate set of rules?

Does this really happen? I have 2 little ones and would NEVER bring them to a bar. If you need to be social bring them to Barnes & Noble or something. What does your child do while your drinking and socializing? Kids need to be constantly watched and I can't imagine what's going on while their parents are talking and drinking. Just like children are not allowed in casinos (in Atlantic City anyway) they should NOT be allowed in bars.

Becoming a parent means getting some wonderful new things out of life and giving up or tweaking some other things. If parents want to go to bars, by all means, they should... after getting a babysitter to watch Junior back at home.

I don't keep alcohol in my home or drink with any child present. That is my own beliefs and I don't look down on those who do. I wouldn't take my own children to a bar since that has the potential for numerous problems.

Babies in bars!!...absurd, stupid, and irresponsible!!

So they go to a bar, drink and then drive baby home? How safe and responsible.

Part of being a parent is giving up things you want to do. If you can't deal with that or don't want to pay a babysitter, then stay home.

Aside from all that, a bar is not a great environment for a child- it can be loud, there are a lot of strangers (so hope you're watching your kid real close), some allow smoking, and there's potential for danger with drinking going on (if a fight breaks out, a kid could be easily hurt in the fray).

Nope.com. Young parent craving social atmosphere? Tough. Create one at your own home. Some of us might eventually want to join you in parenthood and it ain't happening with screaming babies, curious toddlers, and ginormous strollers.

On second thought....it could probably be acceptable if the bar specifically caters to that demographic or group of like minded individuals that have babies that want a change of scenery. The local bar could also advertise for that group to come out on a specific night of the week as long as they were NOT driving and or consuming too much alcohol.The people that don't want to see babies in bars would know that that night or afternoon was geared toward parents and their babies, so they could go elsewhere (or keep the babies occupied while the parents chatted and watched the game)

It takes a village!!!

Hells no! Keep your kids out of the bar. It's a place for adults. I don't have kids because I don't want to deal with them and I sure as hell don't want to deal with anyone elses. Get a baby sitter. You can't put your problem off on everyone else.

Hiding,

you should think first, then post.

get a babysitter

@lawdawg08 what's wrong with hiding's post? I agree completely

As do I. With all respect, I think you should think before attacking people and not their opinions.

Lol @ Mamacita. I had no idea you grew up in MA! That's so cool.

I thought I thought my thought before I posted my post. : ponder :

Thanks for the friendly advise, lawdawg!

I have children and I'm not offended by the comment Hiding made. Some people are not child friendly and they are honest about it. I respect that since children are not for some people. I do not mind dealing with other peoples children if they are behaved. It's people who do not parent their child when it's called for is what gets to me.

Hiding, spacekat, and anonymous @ 28 you guys are right. Hiding I apologize, I should have thought first before i posted that critical comment. But i was actually joking about babies in the bar and non parental units occupying the children.

Monique, that is hilarious, but if its true, then not so much.

Umm what is up with that picture? It looks like mormon polygamists with a plastic baby? I don't get it.

Err...what?

My mother and father never took me to a bar as a baby. Does this explain why I still don't like to hang out in bars? And why I've never been falling-down-and-puking-my-guts-out drunk? (Though I do drink in moderation.)

Does this mean I had a deprived childhood and was never properly socialized? Aw, now I'm bummed.

People, take your babies to the bars so you don't deprive them of a chance to feel at home in bars and develop a life-long dependance on alcohol. It's too late for me, but it's not too late for today's babies. You gotta give these things an early start.

As a young single mom, the idea is nice. I would love a good place to go and meet other single ppl. (I don't have many between my office job, college, and church) I meet the same people over and over again. It has been just my son and I since he was 5 mts old so he is well accustomed to "adult" surroundings (we love nice restaurants, we do a lot of activities w/ my 20s singles church class where there are no other children) and such. We also do a lot of mommy and me classes and things of that nature too. That being said I, personally, would die if I actually took my son to a bar, it just doesn't seem appropriate. It was hard enough going to church as a single divorced mother. I do like some of the compromising ideas others stated. The whole Baby Loves Disco phenomenon totally got me

I agree with Hiding. Before you know it, we'll have parents taking their children to strip clubs. Who in their right mind would want to bring a child into a bar anyway? Not a child-friendly environment.

I don't want babies in bars. I go there to be with adults, not to watch my language or have to step around someone's giant stroller. I find this to be so incredibly selfish. Go to a family restaurant or get a babysitter. There really is no both sides of the issue on this for me. You had a child - accept that there are certain things that you will give up, but don't force everyone else to deal with the fact that little Susie's at happy hour. It's entitled and rude.

A friend of mind pointed out that there are child friendly bars out there. She went to one that was in a farm like setting, out back there was a playground. She didn't drink at all. What's scary about that is it opens doors for parents to bring their kids, drink, and drive home. If it's a child friendly bar, completely up to the parents, but the regular bars... no. Isn't it against the law in many places to bring a minor inside, even if they're a baby?

I am a mother of three. I don't feel sorry for the poor parents that have to make a choice about going out to a bar or staying at home with thier child - or getting a babysitter. Face it: kids are socially constraining - at least from the standpoint that it will somewhat limit what you can or cannot do together. Get over it. There need to be places where adults (those with and without kids) can get together - and have a grown-up experience away from the kids. And there are so many places that people can go now - with their kids that can provide them the social environment. When I was raising my children, kids weren't allowed in bars, period. When I splurged for the babysitter, I knew that I wouldn't have to listen to some spoiled screaming wild banshee running wild in the bar while I was trying to relax with friends.

I don't feel sorry at all for the social constraints that parents have because they can't take their kiddies to bars! That is laughable. I can tell you many horror stories of parents plopping theirselves down at the bar and letting their kids run around screaming through a bar (this isn't a pub) while they got obliterated. It was scary. But then, you can't fix stupid.