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POWER OVER THE NEW PAD

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend of three years and I have been planning to move out of our small apartment for some time now. We finally found a bigger, two bedroom starter home and I couldn't be happier.

The problem is that we've been fighting so much recently, that I am nervous to take the next step with him. We haven't even moved out yet and we've already begun arguing over bills.

I spoke to my mom and aunt, and they keep telling me that I should not move out if we are fighting. But Sugar, I love him. Can you give me advice without telling me to stay at home? Joyless Jeannette

Dear Joyless Jeannette
Here's what I would do; make a list of all of argumentative topics that have come up recently and see if you can tackle them one by one over the next couple of days.


Seeing them all listed on paper is going to help both of you to understand which are the most important issues. It will also help you see where each of you can give a little.

Moving together is a huge deal. I am glad that you love him so much, or else I would tell you to stay, but maybe you guys are just testing your independence with this bickering.

When I moved in with my husband (we were dating at the time) we fought over everything. Now that I look back on it - did I really care if the shower curtain was green and white or blue and white, or if my name was on the phone bill? At the time, it seemed important, but really it was just about power.

Sometimes you push and push just to test how much someone will give into you. Look at your list and see what's really worth fighting over. Have fun kissing and making up!

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