Overwhelming Mother In Law

Dear Sugar
My soon-to-be mother-in-law is a total nightmare and she is making planning my wedding very difficult. She has strong opinions about everything and insists that her way is the right and only way to do things.

The latest is that she doesn't think I should register for dishes at one particular store where I've also registered for all of my kitchen goods, when she can find the same dishes only for a cheaper price somewhere else. How do I get this behavior to stop without totally offending my soon-to-be mother in law? Badgered Bride

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Dear Badgered Bride
For some groups of women, "the registry" is a major sticking point. I don't know why, but ladies, especially older ladies love to have a hand in what they think the couple should own. I definitely think that wedding planning among differing generations of women is also a little bit of a power struggle.

I advise you to remind your MIL, that you have registered for many different pieces and if her friends don't wish to purchase your dishes, they have a vast array of other items to choose from. If they don't like the things that you have picked altogether, let her know that a gift certificate, a check or anything that comes with a receipt will also be happily received and appreciated.

I know that she's not going to like your answer, but she is going to have to live with it. Weddings are a great jumping off point to set limits. If you let her change this, she's just going to continue to push you...eventually you are going to reach the edge and explode!

Keep repeating your answer over and over again if she doesn't relent. She'll get the hint. She'll also begin to understand that you aren't going to let her control you.

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