A Non-Gay Ode To Zach Braff

Are you listening, Zach Braff? Cuz this dude has written a song that's all about you, but he's not gay, okay? Just slightly obsessed. And don't worry, he blows kisses to everyone. And that tattoo was a drunken dare one night. And B-R-A-F-F just happens to be an easy ATM personal identification number to remember. And he's only wearing scrubs because he thinks he looks hot in them. (I smell a boy crush!)