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This is how I like John McCain — kind of a jerk and completely blunt. Last night on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno asked McCain who he thought the leaders of the Republican party were, and he named Florida governor Charlie Crist, Louisiana governor (and 30 Rock's Kenneth the Page sound-alike) Bobby Jindal, and Mitt Romney (twice). And then to prove he didn't accidentally forget some lady governor who messed up his election, he said "and I've left out somebody's name and I'm going to hear about it." See it for yourself below.

The New York Post reports Bernie Madoff's niece Shana, a compliance officer at his infamous firm, "signed a lot of documents" during her tenure. The possible convicté has been asking around the streets of Manhattan's downtown as to what, exactly, is prison like.

Good question! She's summoned Larry Levine, founder of Wall Street Prison Consultants and former inmate #587,1635, to take his fedtime 101 crash course for the one-time price of $999 (call now!). Learn more at his website that asks "Going from the exchange floor to the prison yard?" Maybe, Larry, it may be.

Since not every white collar criminal can afford (some aren't very good) top-notch services, I thought I'd round up the Internet's best tips on what to expect when you're serving time. Ready? You will be.

1. Order magazines subscriptions: There's no Internet in jail, if WikiHow can be believed. If you self-surrender, you'll have time to order them beforehand.
2. Go to the dentist! While dental care is offered in prison, you do not want it.
3. Lose the nostalgia: Focus on your prison life, not on the outside world. Get involved!
4. Talk the talk: Levine is the process of penning a prison-slang dictionary. He recommends Shana learn words like "kiester," a verb meaning "to smuggle something like cigarettes or batteries using your back end."

To see the rest, read more

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Maybe it's time to sign off the social and start studying, hmm? A recent study examining the academic impact of Facebook has shown that people who use the site on a daily basis are more likely to earn lower grades than their peers — as much as whole letter grades!

The inevitable conclusion is that the site is a big time-waster (although I've noticed I spend less time on Facebook since its latest redesign, so thank you for that time back, FB), causing students to sacrifice the time they should have spent studying.

The Internet itself is an addictive place, but what is it about Facebook that sucks up our time so much? Are we just curious about other people, or are we all just narcissists? Either way, we could all use some Facebook breaks — after all, it'll all be there tomorrow.

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If you've been dying to know what Condoleezza Rice has been up to since she retired the power suits, she'll be happy to tell you! Last weekend the former Secretary of State enjoyed the pastime of many of her fellow retirees — golf. For the first time, she got herself tickets to the Masters, and she chronicled the "heartbreaks and highlights" on the Daily Beast.

Condi was cheering for Tiger:

As the time approached, my assistant Anne said, “They want to know who you want to follow.” Borrowing language from Anne’s generation, I said, “Duh?”

I know Tiger from our Stanford connection. I once sat with him at a Stanford-Duke basketball game. Stanford won on a buzzer beater, and we stormed the court together. With that kind of bonding, whom else would I pull for? I had decided that if Tiger did not win, I would champion the cause of Phil Mickelson (met him at the White House and he’s a really nice guy); Stuart Cink (met him in Atlanta and he’s a really nice guy); or Anthony Kim (haven’t met him but I like his swagger).

So Condi likes to bond with golfers with swagger, duh!

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Have any of you Bay Area readers ever been to the Berkeley Public Library? It's a beautiful historical building, but some days has an acquired smell that can't exactly be attributed to old books.

Well, Schaumburg Township District Library in Illinois has now added "offensive bodily odors" to the forbidden list, which already includes talking, running, and beverages! The library says it will kick people out if their stenches disrupt others' use of the facility.

While a pleasant smell would make for a more enjoyable library visit, you could argue that the ban discriminates against poor people. If people don't have access to showers, I'd bet that they don't have access to a computer either. . . unless they can go to the library.

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For some spice lovers, jalapeno-laden hamburgers just won't do. Take Anandita Dutta Tamuly, a 26-year-old woman from Assam, India, who set a Guinness world record last week when she consumed 51 of the world's hottest chile peppers in only two minutes. She also rubbed 24 of the same chile peppers in her eyes over the span of one minute.

Overseeing the feat with a watchful eye was none other than chef Gordon Ramsay, who was in India filming for a British TV program. The reality show host and restaurateur could only consume one of the peppers before screaming for water. Measuring in at 1 million Scoville heat units, the bhut jolokia is known to the be world's hottest known chile pepper (jalapenos, in comparison, contain roughly 2,500 to 8,000 Scovilles.)

A single seed from this pepper is known to cause puffy, watering eyes, a runny nose, and a burning sensation that may last for up to five hours. So how did she manage to defy the laws of nature? The mother of one explained:

I have been eating bhut jolokia since my childhood and never felt the hotness in my mouth. When I was five, I had a sore tongue and my mother applied a chili paste to cure the infection. Since then I developed a penchant for chiles. To be honest, I barely notice them now.

I'm shocked to hear that this record was humanly possible — especially considering the tragic death that occurred last year after a UK man consumed too much spicy sauce. What do you think of the stunt: is it amazing, or simply incredibly foolish?

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Last Friday, a 32-year-old woman leaped a fence and scaled a wall to jump into a Berlin Zoo enclosure holding four polar bears (including Knut). Six zookeepers attempted to distract the bears, but she was still bitten several times by one of the creatures. Even though it was their normal feeding time, she was able to be pulled out safely – minus those injuries – and was rushed to the hospital for surgery. Now after my initial shock, I flashbacked to a similar situation that so disturbed me as a child, that I instantly recalled that story when hearing this one. Learn what stuck in my head some 22 years later, when you read more