Newlyweds: The Art Of The Compromise

Dear Sugar
My husband and I have been married for 6 months. We love each other deeply, but we can not stop bickering. I worry about us and if we can get through this. I've been questioning if this is normal or if we've made a mistake. I can't imagine my life without him, but I feel tremendous guilt for disagreeing with him all of the time and for making his life miserable now that we're married. Do you think he was happier before and should I let him off the hook and leave? Nervous Newlywed

Dear Nervous Newlywed
You are probably just going through a little ironing out stage as a newly married couple and hopefully it will pass. It's important that you are communicating your opinions and acknowledging your differences with each other. You should see the positive in that. Don't feel guilty about disagreeing with your husband. He knew who he was marrying and I am sure he loves you despite your recent spatting. The thing to remember about fighting with a mate is to fight fairly. No one really ever wins in a lovers quarrel, so don't hit below the belt - it will do more harm than good. Don't yell, try and be rational and above all, try and resolve each problem, even if it means breaking down the big issues into smaller, more manageable ones. Lastly, learn to compromise. Meeting your best friend, your partner and you lover somewhere in the middle is a great way for you both to feel heard and respected. Also, don't dismiss the great fun of post - fighting sex!

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