My mom is dating a loser, a total loser. I've told her how much I despise her boyfriend and either she doesn't believe me, or she's just not concerned with my feelings. This guy is going nowhere in life and he's just mooching off of my mom.
The story is that he has been my uncle's friend for about a year now. My husband and I used to hang out at my uncle's house and we would sit and watch him hit on anything that had legs. My silly mom fell for it and they have been together for about seven months.
I don't trust him at all. It really hurts me when my mom takes off for the night to go to his house. Not only does he use drugs, but he is completely disrespectful toward women. I don't know what to do, should I stay out of it? Help Me Helen.
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Dear Help Me Helen,
Yuck. He sounds terrible. Try and sit down with your mother and discuss the situation like adults. Getting angry and fighting with her isn't going to help the situation. Calmly tell her what it is you don't like about her boyfriend. Give her specific examples of things you've witnessed in the past that make you feel this way.
The fact that you've watched this man hit on countless women is concerning. Your mom needs to know this - even though she might get angry and think that you are making it up because she knows that you don't like him. Regardless, she should be aware of this behavior. Ask her what it is that she likes about him. There's got to be a side to him that you don't see. Maybe he even has some good qualities; after all, your mom really seems to like him.
Let your mom know how much you miss spending time with her, and maybe you two can figure out some mother-daughter-only time. Maybe when she's in a good place with you she can open up more. This would also be a perfect time for you to have that talk.
Don't be afraid of getting involved and telling her how you feel, but once you've said it, realize then you have to let her make her own decisions. Don't forget that she let you marry who you wanted. She's a big girl and it's not worth it to continue to harp on it. If she stays with him, try and focus your time together on other things.