My Man Still Lives With His Ex

Dear Sugar
I have been dating a man for the past 2 years who I want to marry. I am so deeply in love with him and I can't imagine my life without him, but the problem is that he has 3 children by women who he lives with and owns a house with. They live in separate rooms and he claims there is nothing but a platonic relationship between them. What should I do? Should I let my guard down and be with him - or should I dump him and move on? Stumped Shana

Dear Stumped Shana
Does he want to get married? Over the course of your 2 year courtship, has he even mentioned that he wants your relationship to grow to the next level? Does he want anymore children and is that alright with you? Also, if/when you get married, will you move into a home together that is separate from this woman? Are they living together for the kids or more for financial reasons? There are a lot of questions to be answered here. Have you ever considered the possibility that they have an open marriage and they are just keeping you in the dark or that your man is still married and is interested in polygamy? I think you should talk with him and get some of your questions answered before you make your decision. I know you love him deeply, but a future with this man could be extremely complicated. You will never come first and unless he's filthy rich, there will always be financial constraints. Ask yourself if you can really picture a happy life with this arrangement.

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