My younger (14 year old) friend recently got into a relationship with an older guy. A few days ago she told me that they've made out numerous amounts of times and that they've even given each other hj's and bj's and she said it was only a matter of time before they have sex. I don't want to intrude on her personal life but I'm worried that it's too soon for her to lose her virginity. They've only been dating for a little over a month and they are rounding home base. I'm afraid that she will regret it later on and feel guilty for not waiting. Should I just not say anything and let her do her own thing? Is it even any of my business? Troubled Thalia
Dear Troubled Thalia
Maybe I am naive, but that does seem young. I understand your concern for your friend and your interest in her well being. However, this is a tricky subject, because ultimately, sexual decisions are her own to make. I've thought about a few angles you can take with her when you talk to her about losing her virginity. Hopefully, she'll be more honest with you since you're her peer and not an adult figure. Try your best to approach this as a conversation as opposed to a lecture and I hope this is a helpful guide for your discussion. Begin by communicating health messages (teen pregnancy, std's, need for protection) and then more toward the emotional messages (peer pressure, low self-esteem and mistaking sex for love). Make sure she knows that she shouldn't give into sex for fear that she may lose him and also that no matter what, you are there for her to talk to.