My Bridesmaid Spilled the Beans


Dear Sugar--

I just returned from my bachelorette party and on the last night, one of my bridesmaids, who had had one too many drinks, made a comment to one of the other girls saying that she couldn't stand my fiance! Unbenounced to her, I overheard her but didn't say anything out of respect for the other girls.

Well, now that we are all back, I can't stop thinking about what she said. She is one of my best friends from college and never alluded to her dislike of my future husband. If she really hates him and doesn't support us being together, I don't want her to be a part of my wedding.... I am sick over this and have no one I can talk to without creating a colossal nightmare for everyone involved before my wedding. What should I do? --Betrayed Betsy

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Dear Betrayed Betsy--

I am so sorry you are dealing with this right before your wedding. Are you 100% positive you heard their conversation correctly? I don't blame you for not wanting this girl to be a part of your wedding if she truly does have ill feelings for your fiancé, but before you jump to any conclusions, talk to her and get the facts.

Let her know what you heard and give her the opportunity to tell you her side of the story. Could you have heard only one part of the story and taken her comments out of context? Could she have been talking about someone else's fiancé? Many times friends of the bride, even the best of friends, get jealous of all the attention the bride is getting so she could selfishly be stirring the pot, although that would be no excuse.

If she does come clean with dislike for your fiancé, you need to do what's best for you, and if that means dismissing her from bridesmaid duties, by all means dis-invite her. Your bridesmaids are supposed to help make your wedding day run smoothly, not add to the stress of the day. Hopefully this will turn out to just be a huge misunderstanding and you can put the entire ordeal behind you. Good luck!

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