My Boyfriend Likes to Make Me Jealous

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Likes to Make Me Jealous

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My BF (of 10 months) makes comments about other girls in front of me, about their bodies, how pretty they are, etc. I tell him that it upsets me and he says that he only does it to make me jealous because he feels like it makes me want him more. He said that when I stop getting upset over his comments is when he'll know that I don't want to be with him anymore.

I tell him that I don't need to be made jealous to love him and want him, and that all it does is make me feel like HE doesn't want ME. He basically shrugs it off like it's nothing, like I'm overreacting. When I bring up that I don't like some of the comments he makes about other girls, that it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me, he just says I have nothing to worry about. Well that's great but I can't help that his comments make me feel like crap. And that on top of that it doesn't even seem like he really cares that it's hurting my feelings.

The main point that I wish he would realize is that the comments don't make me want to love him more or try hard to get him to love and appreciate me, it makes me withdraw from him. I have always been a very reclusive person, very withdrawn from people and don't open up to many people at all. When we started going out I started opening up more and more, he wasn't always making comments about other girls like this. My confidence was so high and I felt great in our relationship. Now I feel sad, paranoid, low self-esteem, like he would rather be with someone else. I feel like I have become even more withdrawn than I was before.

So what should I do? How can I get him to stop? Should I start acting like his comments don't phase me? But then he'll feel like I don't want him. I do want to be with him. I just don't know how to get around this. Please help, I have no one else to talk to. Thanks.

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