Must We Stay Friends Forever?

Dear Sugar
I am a senior in college and I have a group of five close girlfriends. I live with two of them, and across the hall are three more. We all met our freshman year but lately, it seems like a few of us have been growing apart. Our schedules are all so different and we rarely get to hang out as a group, but when we do, it feels so forced.

Everyone is either talking to other people on their cell phones the whole time, or we just sit around in an awkward silence at a big table looking down or looking through each other at everyone who walks by. The weirdest is when we reminisce about about how much fun we used to have together.

I will always be there for these girls if they ever need me, but I really just don't like spending time with them anymore. I don't feel like we have in common what we used to and I would like my space from them. I feel pressure to hang out with them and it seems like it's been more work than fun recently. Do you have any advise as to how I should handle this situation? Growing up Gwen


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Dear Growing up Gwen
As we get older, we often grow in different directions from our friends. This is a completely natural progression that happens all the time, so don't be too hard on yourself. College is a time to mature and develop; it's not abnormal that you feel a distance from them. When you met, you were four years younger and fresh out of high school.

The great thing is that you live with these girls so you don't necessarily have to socialize outside of your apartment. Try spending quality time together at home where you all feel comfortable and at ease. Sometimes rehashing old times can be fun and entertaining, and you never know, those old times could bring you closer.

Just because you are not best buds with these girls anymore doesn't mean you can't still remain friendly. Forcing relationships with them might make you pull back even more so try letting the friendships progress naturally and see what happens. If you still feel like a break up is in order, at least you can say you gave it your all.

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