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Married but Have Crush on Co-Worker

Group Therapy: I Have a Crush on My Co-Worker, but I'm Married and He's Taken

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been married for several years and have been asking myself if I did the right thing for most of that time. But that's not what I want help from Group Therapy on right now — I've got other therapy for that. Basically, I'm not attracted to my husband, and lately I've found myself attracted to other men — nothing too serious, until now. I've got a crush on my coworker, who I started working with a few months ago.

We work together once or twice a week and ever since we first met, he's always been so sweet and caring and helpful and generous and everything my husband is not. A few weeks into working with him I found out that he has a girlfriend, which is how I found out that he is straight. In my profession, we tend to assume our male coworkers are gay unless otherwise notified.

Once he told me about his GF the first time, I immediately started crushing on him, just because he's so amazing. But he doesn't say much about her, in fact, none of my coworkers even know her name, and it creates a huge sense of mystery surrounding him. He can be pretty private. He won't tell her name to anyone who's asked about her, but he and I are pretty chummy, and I feel like if I asked, I'd be the one person he would tell. But I respect his privacy and I don't even ask him. Instead, we talk about everything else under the sun — we have a lot in common and we're becoming good friends. I get the feeling he doesn't talk about her much because he has a crush on me too. So I don't talk about my husband much, either. My coworker has trouble remembering my husband's name, and when we first started working together he had trouble remembering whether I had a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. What kind of guy gets that stuff mixed up?

So I like him, I think he likes me back, but we're both in relationships right now. We have chemistry when we're together, but I think he's too much of a gentleman (again, he's amazing) to make a move on me or anything like that, or even say something to "clear the air." What do I do? Help!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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