This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.
This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!
I think I have some serious fear of commitment. Not that I fear from committing myself to someone, rather, If I love someone, I would dedicate and commit myself fully and completely to him. My issue lies in my huge phobia of being cheated on. The more I fall in love, the more I panic over him betraying me.
I have been in this serious relationship with a wonderful loving man for one and half year now. I have had my moments of weakness when I've made a fuss over nothing due to my insecurities, but I've been working on them and I have been fairly better. Another issue that I suffer from: I am a quitter. In the beginning, every time we had a fight I broke up with him and he was the one who fixed everything. That was the beginning, now I feel more of a mature person. I have learned to work through our problems rather than breaking off the whole thing.
My boyfriend proposed to me some months ago, and I said yes. I know you might think that I'm not prepared for this. but I want to remind you that I also have my wonderful qualities and I deem myself as a good mate.
The thing is, all this time I felt kind of safe because there was always the "way out." I could always break up with him if I were unappreciated or cheated on. But when I become married, I don't want to think about divorce. (Having two divorced sister makes divorce even more of a phobia for me and also my parents.) I mean let's say after 5 years of living together, he suddenly changes and tell me he does not like how I look. If a single woman posts an issue like this, you would all tell her to dump him and look for a better person. What if she were married and with a child? What if she talked to him and he did not change? I mean, everybody can be wonderful today and change drastically in 5 years. What is she ought to do then?
I want to know how married couples fix issues like cheating, trust issues and self image?
I would appreciate comments from married people who do face whole lot of issues but fix them and have a successful marriage? (If there are any!)
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