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Making New Friends Is Harder Than I Thought

Dear Sugar
I have recently moved across the country with my husband and our two young daughters. I didn't think that it would really be a big deal leaving my friends, since everyone is getting married, having children of their own and slowly leaving the city where we all used to live together for the suburbs...but I was wrong.

Now it feels like starting from scratch to meet new friends is difficult and a little painful. It's hard to take casual conversations to the next level and set up play dates, dinners or lunches. I really miss having a pal close by to chat on the phone with about life.

I really hadn't expected this to be quite so challenging. My husband and I have always been outgoing, friendly and we would open our home to friends without hesitation. Do you have any suggestions for how I can turn my very distant acquaintances into friendships? Lonely Lana.

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Dear Lonely Lana
You can equate making new friends to dating. You still have to go through a screening process and only time can really tell if you are compatible and the feelings are mutual. Sometimes to get the fire started though, you've got to take a risk. Something as simple as inviting some moms over from your kid's school one day would be a great way to break the ice.

Another creative idea could be to start a book club where you can invite just the ladies over without the kids so that you can find more to talk about then just your children. Have you ever considered attending a support group? Support groups are a great way to make new friends.

Venture out to and participate in community activities like; sporting events, plays, concerts, art shows, book signings, religious/neighborhood meetings and volunteer activities. The point is to just get out there and see who you connect with.

Also consider what makes a good friend and make sure that you are acting accordingly. Are you reaching out to others when they need support? Good luck to you and your husband; hopefully he can also benefit from some of these suggestions.

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