Earlier this year, I had an official "crash and burn" relationship, in which I experienced two instances — both of which were at the opposite ends of the spectrum — of losing myself.
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
Being a romantic, I always had ideas floating in my head about what I wanted in a partner. But, being an imaginative individual, a part of me also thought of these ideas as being more fanciful than realistic. So when I found someone who brought the fanciful ideal to reality for five minutes, I lost myself. I had no other thought than to be with him — even anxious for the next moment and the next. Being with him, initially, was like crack (er, not that I've ever actually taken the drug — for reals). I essentially passed the reins of my life to him, and who I was before didn't exist. I was happy, but I wasn't really being me, and gave up a lot of things that I loved, neglected friends and family.
Funny what a bit of kindness and appreciation can do to a person, and their sense of self.
But as I said — it was a crash and burn relationship, and when we crashed, we crashed hard. And when we burned, there was nothing left (of me). It left me a sodden, sobbing shell of myself, empty and cold at the doorstep of my BFF late one night — too ashamed and broken to go home.
Good times. To find out how to avoid, read more.
So I say . . . prepare yourself. Map out what you want from a partner, so that if someone treats you decently for a change, or even embodies your ideal, you'll think to yourself "this is what I want, and what I f*cking deserve" as opposed to being so flabbergasted at someone treating you how you should be treat it, that you let yourself be consumed and taken over. Cause that's what happens when you're in the belly of the Love Beast. You get digested.
Source: Flickr User bored-now