Not in Love With Alcoholic Husband

Group Therapy: Marriage Has Lost That Lovin' Feeling

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My husband and I have been together for 21 years . . . through so many ups and downs. We always supported each other. Ten years ago he began a downward spiral into alcoholism. I begged and threatened him to quit so many times that I lost track. Well, finally 9 months ago he listened when I told him I was finished. He has been sober since that day.

The problem is all of that love, compassion and concern that I had for him has just eroded away during his drunken years. He has never physically harmed or threatened me. He says he is sorry and is making changes and loves me more than anything.

We are trying to work on our marriage. But I am just not in love with him anymore. Sex is virtually impossible because I cannot stand to be kissed or touched by him. Just being with him causes nothing but anxiety for me. He knows all of these things but doesn't really understand any of it. My question is how can a person get these feelings back once they're gone? Or do I stop putting both of us through this and end the marriage? Any advice suggestions are appreciated.

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