I am a young 31 year old woman and my boyfriend is 34. We have lived (and have been) together for 4 1/2 years. We are "the perfect match". We laugh and cry together and we are each other's best friend. Since we've met though, we have gone through many rough times. Both my parents died and because of that my friends and most of my relatives disappeared... Don't ask my why... As a result of depression, I had to go on medications - which made me gain about 20 pounds and act like a rollercoaster. Today, I feel much better and I am free of meds. But the weight, of course, stayed on. The problem: My boyfriend takes NO initiative any more when it comes to sex. He says it has nothing to do with the weight...We have sex about 2 - 3 times a year!! He has even brushed me off when I have tried. He says that he's tired. I have tried to talk to him about this, but he says nothing is wrong; he is just tired. But for me it has become a big problem. I need us to be intimate. Let me just add that he is not cheating. I know for sure because we are together all the time. Except for this problem, all is good. What can I do? Horny Girlfriend
Dear Horny Girlfriend
Try being more aggressive at stimulating him. He's not going to stop you if you've already gotten started. Or, have you tried sex toys? Maybe that's something that would turn him on. It sounds like this is a symptom of a bigger intimacy problem in your relationship. The two of you need to have an honest talk about your feelings for each other. You could even give couples counseling a shot if talking doesn't get you anywhere. This is a big problem because if you don't feel sexually attractive to your boyfriend you are going to start to feel insecure and it will show in the relationship. You are a woman and you have needs. You deserve to be sexually satisfied and more if you are in a loving relationship.