I moved away from home to finish up my bachelors a year ago. My boyfriend at the time moved out here with two of his friends a couple months later and we got engaged. Ever since I have been here I have hated it. It isn't a bad place, actually most people would love to live here, but I just want to go home.
Now more of his friends are moving out here and I'm finishing up my bachelors soon to be moving on to my masters. All I can think about is moving back home. I avoid making friends and I have been doing horrible in school because I am weighed down with depression and anxiety about what to do. He has literally moved five of his friends out here, they quit their jobs, left their girlfriends and packed up to come here (he is in a band, thus... the bandmates).
He absolutely loves it here but I can't stand it. I guess I could go into the reasons I can't stand it. This place is extremely expensive, I have defaulted my credit card and I can't even get approved for a new checking account because I am so far behind on my bills because the cost of living is outrageous. Reason number two, for the first time in my life right before leaving my family finally decided to get along for the first time in many many years and I really just want to spend time with them now, along with many other comforts of home.
I have already decided quietly to myself that I am going to apply for graduate school back home and here and then make the decision as it comes, I just don't want to end my engagement with a man I really love, but I also refuse to compromise my happiness and my success in life because I am so miserable. People have said we could do long distance . . . but for how long? He wants to stay here indefinitely. He already uprooted his life once for me (along with the many other people he brought with him) and I really don't want him to feel like I keep shifting him around . . . but honestly I just can't do it anymore.
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