I Hate My Best Friend's Husband

I Hate My Best Friend's Husband

Dear Sugar
I hate my best friend's husband. We were once close pals, but for the past year or so we've been drifting apart and lately I can't stand him at all. He is selfish, obnoxious, bossy and downright mean to me and to my best friend. I have tried talking to him about some of his unjustified comments but nothing seems to help. Recently, he angrily confronted me about being rude. I was very calm with him but I am burning up inside. I am at wits end with this friendship but I worry that if I fight back it will cause serious tension for my friend and I. The three of us spend so much time together. I just wish he would see what a jerk he's being. --Frustrated

Dear Frustrated
This is a sticky situation. It's big of you to take the high road. Getting down to an unreasonable person's level never gets you anywhere. You obviously care deeply for your best friend or you would not have put up with her husband for this long. It's good of you to respect their relationship, if you want to stay close with her, but you don't have to be a pushover either. Tell him how you feel in a letter or e-mail. After that, try to keep the friendship as cordial as possible. Hopefully your best friend will value the fact that you left her out of the fighting and she'll realize how important it is for the two of you to spend some girl time alone, without him around.

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