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I Got Her Pregnant, but I'm Moving Away

Group Therapy: I Got Her Pregnant, but I'm Moving Away

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm 23 years old, and I was seeing this girl in a sexual relationship.  I specifically told her it would be nothing beyond physical, because I am traveling overseas for Graduate School (that, and I did not like her anything beyond that).  I decided to break it off, but before I could, she told me she was pregnant. Obviously, this was unexpected (she was on the pill, although I was stupid not to use a condom as well).  I know this is going to make me sound like a bit of a monster, but I really have no feelings for the girl.  In fact, since then I have come to not like her at all, and even if it is from me being upset at all of this, the best I will ever be able to do is be ambiguous about it.

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The real problem is me going away.  She has decided to keep the child, which is her choice, and is due in December.  By that time, however, I will be overseas for another 9-10 months, and then work (most likely military) will probably not be anywhere near where she lives.  I have no feelings for her, but this child is tearing me apart inside.  I grew up in a very loving and stable 2-parent household, but know I cannot give the same to this child, since I refuse to give up my career and have no feelings for the baby's mother.  I know that I can help support the child financially, but that was never the issue.  It is quite possible that I may not even be in the area for the next several years.  What can be done?  I just feel like I am doomed to be a "dead-beat" dad, even though I feel like I don't want to be.  Please, no "just man up and stay there" comments.  Doesn't help.  I have a career, and I love it, and I refuse to stop what I love for the next 18 years to do a miserable job.

Second thought: There is the slight chance that I may move back to the area if work allows it.  My second thought goes back to the girl who is having my child.  She is a nice person, but I really just don't like her all that much.  If I do move back and get to see my child, do I owe her anything more than just pretending to be friendly?

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