I am in a very good relationship with my girlfriend of fourteen months. I love her so much in every possible way. My girlfriend is in school and has been making new friends lately, which I don't mind since I work full time. While she tells me about all her new girlfriends, she conveniently leaves out the guy friends. While I know that there is no need to panic, I know she has friends and I trust her, I just get very jealous when I see her walking to class with guys I don't know.
The other night, she checked her cell phone bill on my home computer. When she left, I checked mine as well. I noticed a high bill even though I had just made a payment so I looked into the call history. After finding random calls made in the middle of the night I realized I was in my girlfriend's account. Who was she talking to at all hours of the night?
I recently picked a fight with her because I am bothered about her late night phone calls. I want to totally trust my girlfriend, and I know that sometimes I read into minor things and turn them into a big deal, but this making me sick. I am sure she is just talking to her school friends, and I plan to tell her that I read her bill, I just need some advice because I am afraid I'm ruining this relationship by behaving this way. Can you help? Crazed Chris
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Dear Crazed Chris
I am wondering if you have a history of betrayal that makes you sensitive to trusting someone that you are in a relationship with? Has your girlfriend ever broken your trust in the past? If you are doubting your girlfriend, I think the best thing to do is talk to her about it.
Going behind her back by checking her cell phone log is an invasion of privacy. Although you say you trust her, it doesn't sound like you do. I happen to agree that her late night chats are concerning, and that is why I think you should talk to her about what's going on before jumping to any conclusions. This behavior could very well drive her away, so nipping your insecurities in the bud needs to be your top priority.
Relationships are built on trust, so if you are feeling insecure you might want to reevaluate your relationship and work through any issues you and your girlfriend might be having. Be open and honest, hopefully this was all a misunderstanding and you can use this as a learning experience.