I Can't Move On From My Ex

"I Don't Trust Him, but I Can't Get Over Him"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I broke up a while back, but I never distanced myself from. It's still pretty fresh, but I am moving on and I'm trying to get over him. Right now I love and hate him at the same time. Possible? There are nights I miss him so much, and I know that if I call he'll talk, but coldly. He'll say, "Please don't say 'I miss you," I don't want to be in all of that again, I want to concentrate on college."

Still there are times when I just want to scream at him for disrespecting me, lying to me. Why do I want to communicate this to him when I know it won't affect him? When I know there's no point? I want to stop this. I have a chance because I don't have to see him every day in class anymore, but we've been closer for years and it is so hard. I see people moving on so fast, from one guy to another, and I wonder — am I lacking somewhere?

I was also very wrong somewhere in this relationship. He was too. And we stretched it so much that we weren't even able to salvage a friendship out of it. Neither of us gets close to people very easily, so maybe that's why we held on to each other. It's hard to imagine myself without him, and I am trying. He hopes that we remain friends for now, ending on a positive note so that when we're able to get over whatever happened, we can come back as newer, better people and end up together.

But still, I don't know if I should trust him. I don't trust him. I want guys to ask me out, but I feel scared. I feel like I'm cheating, and I feel no attraction at all. I lost my self-respect and the way I sacrificed everything and clung to him was so needy. All I want is that back — to look in the mirror and feel so good, to have him see me as the girl I was and respect me. I know I can't force anyone, but it gives me a lot of anguish to imagine our story ending up in such a bad state.

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