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How Will I Know?

Dear Sugar
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, we are both 28, and I look forward to a future of marriage and children with him. I do love him, but how am I supposed to know if he is the "one"? People are constantly telling me that you'll just know, but what if I am not built like that?

My two previous relationships were very tumultuous and I was constantly trying to fix them even though I knew they were wrong for me. These relationships left me broken hearted but it never stopped me from having strong feelings for them.

My current boyfriend is the complete opposite. We have wonderful communication, he treats me very well, and we enjoy being together. I am worried because although I love and can't imagine being with anyone else, I don't feel head-over-heels for him like I have in the past. How can I tell if my feelings for him are marriage-worthy? Bewildered Betty


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Dear Bewildered Betty
I think many women have the same dilemma you do in questioning if their boyfriend is the right person for them. As frustrating as this may be, only you can be the judge if he is right for you. What is causing your hesitation? Are you comparing your relationship with your current boyfriend to ones in the past?

It sounds like your past relationships were wrong from the start, so the fact that you feel differently for your current boyfriend is great news. If you could look into a magic ball, can you imagine your life with this man? What are the qualities you love so much about him? Do you want the same things out of life? These are the important questions to ponder when asking yourself if he is marriage worthy.

Being head-over-heels for someone isn't necessarily what marriage and a wonderful relationship is based on, but if you are having hesitation if he is the one, perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship. Take a step back before you rush into an engagement when you know you are not ready. Good luck.

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