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How to Get Him to Clean Without Nagging

Group Therapy: I Love Him, but Not If I Have to Be His Mother

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

OK I'm not writing this to complain, so I hope it doesn't come across that way! I live with my boyfriend in a small town, we're both done with school, college etc., both work full time hours at our jobs and like some other unmarried couples we split the bills.

Seems normal enough to me, however; the bills we are not splitting (cell phone, loan payments, etc.) his mother pays for, out of his bank account but still. I feel at 24 he should be able to take care of his own bills. Second, he never helps with anything around the house. Typical male behavior, but sometimes it feels as though I'm asking for help from a child. He'll come to help me when I ask if he's not doing anything, but sometimes he'll say he can't help me because he's playing a game. I've done that too . . . when I was about 12, and my parents didn't take it well either, haha.

So I end up cleaning the dishes and the rest of the house while he sits and plays a game. By the time I'm done, I can't play with him because I've got to go to bed to get up for work the next day. If he had helped me though, things would have been done sooner and we both could have played.

I feel this is what married life with this man would be like, and I definitely don't want that. I want to be married to a capable man, not a child. How can I get him to see that he needs to step up and be more responsible? I've tried everything to gently coax him into it, but nothing works.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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