How to Get Boyfriend to Ask You to Move In

Group Therapy: How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Ask Me to Move In?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years now. I want him to ask me to move in with him.

A little background here . . .  we did live together for 9 months from mid 2008 to early 2009. We had some rough times throughout our whole relationship, and we have always made it work through communication and work. At that time he had moved into my apartment and everything was great until we got into a huge fight; he made the irrational decision to move out immediately at that moment at 11 o'clock at night and go back to his mother's place.

Now he is 28 and I am 27; we have grown up a lot since then, and he bought his own home last year, and for the last 5 months I have slept at home every night; most of my clothing is here and some of my other belongings. I only go to my apartment to pick up mail or get some other clothing or anything else I may need.

I am currently unemployed and my only income is from disability, due to the fact of being ill for an extended period of time. I do take classes toward my goal career in social work and look for jobs everywhere that will support my own living expenses, however it turned out to be harder then expected.

Now I don't just want to move in with him for financial reasons; he is also finding that owning a home is more financially burdening then he thought, and my very low disability income is tough. As much as it financially makes a lot of sense, I do love him very much, and we have been together for close to 7 years and are 100% committed, and he loves me very much too. We don't want to be with anybody else and have discussed the status of our relationship very openly and extensively and are now nearly 30 and not getting any younger.

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I would like to live together again, and I miss it very much even though I stay here all day for 7 days for the last 5 months. Now I have brought the subject up at least 5 times, and a few times he has considered it and a couple of times just shot it down. How do I get him to see it is the perfect next step for our 7-year relationship, and we are old enough now and much calmer and wiser to make it work? And the financial aspect is a definite bonus. I am afraid this is an all or nothing situation, either we move in or I have to realize that maybe we have plateaued and our relationship is not meant to move on; that is a decision I don't want to make or even think about since my feelings are so strong and don't see myself with anybody else. Now I need some help and any advice people may have on this situation, so please feel free to share any thoughts or advice. Thank you for listening.

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