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How Do I Choose Between Friends & A Lover?

How Do I Choose Between Friends & A Lover?

Dear Sugar
I have been seeing a girl who lives about two hours away. We communicate a lot via phone and e-mail and have hung out in person only about seven times. We don't talk everyday and we don't refer to each other as boyfriend girlfriend, but I am growing more interested each time I see her.

Her father is extremely ill, only has a few months left to live, and was rushed to the ER last night and was put on life support after suffering a seizure. I spoke with her today and she is obviously pretty shaken up. The doctors said it will be very touch and go for the next few days.

I have travel plans this weekend with some friends that would be very costly to break as well as disrupt travel schedules for the rest of the group. I'm struggling with
what to do considering everything involved and based on how far in the relationship we are. She hasn't explicitly asked me to rush to her, but I feel that she would appreciate it. What should I do? Vacation Bound Vinnie


To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Vacation Bound Vinnie
I am so sorry to hear about your friends father - how heartbreaking. What is your gut instinct telling you? Would you want her there to support you? Do you think this relationship has potential to grow? Is your trip the only reason why you are hesitating? If so, I think you know the answer to your question.

Trips can be canceled or postponed for nominal fees and I am sure all of your friends would understand the severity of this situation. If you can sense her desire to have you there for support, then the right thing to do is be there for her when she needs you.

Although she is being coy, your presence would make all the difference in the world to her. This is the time to show her how much you care however, ultimately you are going to have to choose between your friends and your new special lady friend.

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