Beyoncé's Ultimate Guide to Sasha Fierce Seduction

Beyoncé must be riding her surfboard in the fountain of youth, because the queen of being #flawless looks hotter than ever as she turns 34. Happy Birthday Bey! Despite all the elevator and divorce drama of the past, the BeyHive seems to be at peace these days. The Carters look more crazy in love than ever. The coolest couple in music keep proving that they're still the "'03 Bonnie & Clyde." Check out all of the ways Yoncé has taught us how to catch the ultimate man and have him worship at our fierce feet forever. Source: Getty / Kevin Winter

01
She makes her own money.

She makes her own money.

Jay has 99 problems, but Beyoncé's finances ain't one.

02
She wakes up like this.

She wakes up like this.

C'mon, who wouldn't want to look at that face every morning? Source: Instagram user beyonce

03
She puts on private shows.

She puts on private shows.

We're guessing Bey dances for her bae off stage as well.

04
She's not afraid to show off her assets.

She's not afraid to show off her assets.

05
All of her assets.

All of her assets.

06
Because she wants you to be ready for that jelly.

Because she wants you to be ready for that jelly.

Seriously, she's got a whole music video about it.

08
When it's time to impress, she puts on a freakum dress.

When it's time to impress, she puts on a freakum dress.

09
She wasn't kidding about that whole surfboard thing.

She wasn't kidding about that whole surfboard thing.

Seriously, she will grind on that wood. Source: Instagram user beyonce

10
She takes HOV to cool events, like all the time.

She takes HOV to cool events, like all the time.

They partied at Coachella 2014 all weekend. Remember that one time she sang at the presidential inauguration? Yeah, he went to that too. Source: Instagram user beyonce

11
She improves her husband's quality of life.

She improves her husband's quality of life.

Please reference "Upgrade U."

12
She is the epitome of cool.

She is the epitome of cool.

Even when she's throwing up an LA sign backward, she's. So. Cool. And Jay Z can't resist. Source: Rob Hoffman

13
She will grub with her man.

She will grub with her man.

No rabbit food salad for Beyoncé.

15
She can make fun of herself.
NBC

She can make fun of herself.

Nobody likes a woman with a bad sense of humor. Good thing Bey is totally hilarious.

16
She always looks hot.

She always looks hot.

Time to go buy a body chain. Source: GQ

17
She's really good at all things cowgirl.

She's really good at all things cowgirl.

You know what I'm saying? Source: YouTube user Beyoncé

18
She's not afraid to get into some trouble.

She's not afraid to get into some trouble.

19
But she can be a good girl too.

But she can be a good girl too.

Source: I Am Beyonce

20
She gives out lots of hugs and kisses.

She gives out lots of hugs and kisses.

22
She uses it all the time.

She uses it all the time.

23
Seriously, she's been doing it for years.

Seriously, she's been doing it for years.

First tongue sighting: set of the "Crazy in Love" music video. Coincidence that Jay was there? We think not.

24
In other words, she is not afraid to get a little dirty.

In other words, she is not afraid to get a little dirty.

She lets Jay Z Monica Lewinsky all over her gown.

25
She always flashes a smile.

She always flashes a smile.

And the entire world melts. Source: Instagram user beyonce

26
She's not afraid to do this in a bikini.

She's not afraid to do this in a bikini.

Is there some sort of award we can give her for this?

27
She squashes the dumb rumors.
Getty

She squashes the dumb rumors.

If this doesn't give you faith in their love, this will.