Hospital Chart Bloopers


There is nothing funny about being ill, but then again, we never get to see what the docs write down in those top secret hospital charts. Now there's some sick humor:

  • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  • The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
  • The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
  • The patient refused autopsy.
  • The patient has no previous history of suicides.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • Source and Cartoon Source

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