Are Honeymoon Registries Tacky?

June 25, 2010

You may know where you want to go on your honeymoon, but paying for it is not always as easy. Websites like honeyfund.com let soon-to-be honeymooners request specific amounts for airfare, hotels, liquor — anything they can think of. I don't really see how it's any different than asking for money, or even a blender, but some taste testers say it's tacky.

Whether you're going on a relaxing or adventurous trip, would a honeymoon registry be too tacky for your good taste?

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26 Comments

2 years 44 weeks

I'm currently looking at registries and feel conflicted with this issue as well. Firstly though I have to disagree with the post that implied that a gift is required as "pay back" for their invitation. By making the guest feel as if they should be footing the bill for their food/drinks/etc. implies that it is less of an invitation and more of a ticket to my event. A wedding should be a celebration of love, shared with those closest to you and one should be happy to foot the bill for those they love. That being said, I would be shocked if my loved family and friends didn't express their congratulatory wishes with a gift that was within their means. That being said, I think that under the right circumstances, a honeymoon might be tasteful. I live with my fiance and we have everything we need. We have enough money saved to have the celebration we want. Our honeymoon however... we haven't decided how much we want to spend and ideally it'd be quite a lot, as neither of us have been outside of North America and we're both quite adventurous. I don't wish to ask people to pay for my honeymoon as I think it's just as tacky as asking for money, but there's just nothing we want at this point except a beautiful 1st trip as husband and wife. I don't think I'd ask them to pay for the trip, but if one of my friends or family members wanted to upgrade us to the honeymoon suite at our hotel or treat us to a romantic dinner at a restaurant, I would find that easier to accept, no?

2 years 46 weeks

All registries are tacky. Period.

2 years 46 weeks

My cousin registered for a honeyfund and then never went on a honeymoon.

2 years 47 weeks

I don't think it's tacky, and I don't think I'm being spoiled by thinking so. My finance and I have been saving for our wedding, which we're paying 100%, and isn't going to be extravagant, and I'm doing most everything myself, right down to most likely making my own dress. We have however, let our family and close friends asking where we are registered, that we are not expecting gifts as we already live together, however if they would like to contribute to our honeymoon, we would appreciate it. I don't think it's rude, as someone chooses to give you a gift, what's the difference if they contribute towards a honeymoon, or get you a blender? Both are not really necessities anyway. My feeling is I would rather have them contribute to something that will make great memories, and I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

2 years 47 weeks

my friend registered at fortunoff (when it was still in business) and registered for all sorts of silly expensive things, most of which she recieved, and she returned alot of it to get a nice his/her watch. personally, i woudve been a little offended if i took the time to pick somethign from a registry that wasnt even intended to be used, but rather as a credit for something else. i didnt have a registry, and most of the stuff in my home now was stuff that my hubby and i slowly bought. so i do think registries are a tad tacky, but i guess if you have to do one and you already have everything, and the guests are going to have to give you some sort of a monetary gift, you might as well do a honeymoon registry. though seriously, if you cant afford a very fancy honeymoon, then you should wait till you can afford it, rather then make others pay for it.

postmodernsleaze 2 years 47 weeks

I agree with Anon 3. I think a lot of registries have gotten out of control. I am not buying you that $900 crystal vase, you butthole!

2 years 47 weeks

Why on earth would you register for duplicates of things that you already own? The expectation is not to register for certain items. And what does being someone who isn't married getting things for themselves have to do with it? People aren't expected to register for things they don't want or need. That's not the point people were making. If your life is already set up and you have everything you need, then don't go asking for copious amounts of wedding presents. Guests often end up spending a lot of money to go to somebody's wedding, and then they're expected to buy the couple a present. Not to mention the engagement present to begin with. And when you get to the wedding there's usually a Wishing Well or Dollar Dance these days. The spending never ends. I've seen many a couple who complained that they didn't make enough money off of their guests to cover their wedding and/or honeymoon. If you can't afford the wedding or the honeymoon you have planned, cut back and do something you can afford. It's not up to the guests to foot the bill for everything. They're supposed to be there to celebrate your life, not pay for it.

2 years 47 weeks

I think this is a great idea. You get to just give money (and there are all kinds of different amounts you can give for this) but you get to see what your money is actually contributing to. It's easy and satisfying. I don't think it's presumptuous to assume that people should give you wedding presents-- when you take into account how much money they spend on the wedding (including the dinner and, oftentimes, open bar, which are expensive and benefit guests) I think it makes sense for guests to give back (at least the estimated amount of the meal and drinks that they were provided). I doubt many people, if any, get more back in presents than they put into the wedding, money-wise. Although, if the couple is just getting married and will not be having a wedding, I think it's presumptuous to ask for presents.

chloe bella 2 years 47 weeks

RoaringSilence - I agree, it's not the item on the registry that's tacky, but the expectation that you're somehow entitled to receive everything you ask for. I'm really baffled by all the people who say that wedding gifts are about "helping a couple launch their life." Yes, that was true in 1970. Maybe you all are just really young and/or got married by the age of 22, but it's a little presumptuous to assume that people need help "launching their life." I mean, God forbid a non-married woman go out and buy herself some hand towels and a blender. My boyfriend I are both 26, not yet engaged, and we both make decent livings as attorneys. As a result, we have pretty much every household item we need, and I'm not really looking forward to the day when I'm supposed to go out and register for duplicates of things I already own just because it's the only socially acceptable thing to do. And for the record, I personally don't plan on doing a honeymoon registry, I just think it's ridiculous that people are expected to register for things they already own and don't want or need.

chloe bella 2 years 47 weeks

RoaringSilence 2 years 47 weeks

This is probably related to another article on here, where someone was complaining that they didn't receive everything they asked for on their registry. The tacky thing was not what was on their registry (which in their case was money), but the fact that they were greedy.When it comes to gifts, you should assume nothing, and be happy about anything you get on top of that.

RoaringSilence 2 years 47 weeks

This is probably related to another article on here, where someone was complaining that they didn't receive everything they asked for on their registry. The tacky thing was not what was on their registry (which in their case was money), but the fact that they were greedy. When it comes to gifts, you should assume nothing, and be happy about anything you get on top of that.

theCatsPajamas 2 years 47 weeks

totally tacky! wedding gifts are about helping a couple launch their life together, not about sending them on vacation. a good registry should be a cheatsheet on the couples' tastes and needs, to offer suggestions to guests who may not know what to get-- it shouldn't be a christmas list of everything the couple ever wanted, practical or not. when did it become ok to shakedown your guests? also, registering for wii games? worse than tacky.

theCatsPajamas 2 years 47 weeks

2 years 47 weeks

We had a honeymoon registry for our wedding, didn't feel it was tacky at all. We made no mention of it except for on our website. Total contributions = $0.00. On second thought, maybe it was a little tacky. . . .

jazzytummy 2 years 47 weeks

A couple I knew did this, about 7 years ago. They went to Rome, and had all of these activities that you could "contribute" to, including just giving cash or paying for their airfare. I thought it was so tacky to do that, and actually mentioned it to other friends, who were horrified...they thought it was so inappropriate and presumptuous. Of course, I'm in my forties, and pay for my own trips, and my friends are my age, so different generation altogether. I didn't get a thank you note from the bride for almost a year. Never again.

jazzytummy 2 years 47 weeks

chloe bella 2 years 47 weeks

JennyJK - How is a honeymoon registry any different than a regular registry? You say that a honeymoon registry is like blatantly asking for money, but people don't give cash via the honeymoon registry. They give things like airline miles, a nice dinner, a bottle of champagne, and things like that. I know couples who have registered for Wii games on their wedding registry - I don't think that's any more of a necessity that a honeymoon-related item. I agree with Sundown, in that most people get married at an age where they already own kitchen appliances, towels, etc. I know one couple who registered at Neiman Marcus for household items, and then they took every single gift back and exchanged for a gift card with cash, so that they could buy themselves thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes instead. I would much rather people be up front about it and use a honeymoon registry so that I can at least give them a gift they can use. It's silly to insist on buying people household items they don't need merely because that's how it's been done in the past.

Chrstne 2 years 47 weeks

I'm on the fence about this one. If you don't need anything to "start your life together", I don't see why you shouldn't just register for something you'd really like. If that's a honeymoon, so be it. However, it seems tacky, but I can't quite put my finger on why I feel that way. Possibly because it almost seems like begging for money...your family/friends are paying for a vacation, and...I don't know, its weird.

Blynnt 2 years 47 weeks

Sundown - I completely agree. With so many couples living together (or at least on their own) pre-wedding and getting married later in life, it's much more likely that they will have most everything to fill their home (I also fall into this group). People always seem to want to give the couple a gift, so why not help them enjoy a fabulous trip.I just contributed to a registry on HoneyFund for a couple that my bf and I are very close with, so they could go on a dinner cruise in Hawaii that I know they are both very excited about. I'm happy to help them create a great memory of that cruise, and I can't wait to hear about it! I would definitely register (when the time comes) for honeymoon activities, as well as a few more interesting and special home items so anyone invited would feel comfortable with whatever they wanted to give. I don't see anything wrong with just giving the couple money either if you don't want to contribute directly to a honeymoon registry.

Blynnt 2 years 47 weeks

Sundown - I completely agree. With so many couples living together (or at least on their own) pre-wedding and getting married later in life, it's much more likely that they will have most everything to fill their home (I also fall into this group). People always seem to want to give the couple a gift, so why not help them enjoy a fabulous trip. I just contributed to a registry on HoneyFund for a couple that my bf and I are very close with, so they could go on a dinner cruise in Hawaii that I know they are both very excited about. I'm happy to help them create a great memory of that cruise, and I can't wait to hear about it! I would definitely register (when the time comes) for honeymoon activities, as well as a few more interesting and special home items so anyone invited would feel comfortable with whatever they wanted to give. I don't see anything wrong with just giving the couple money either if you don't want to contribute directly to a honeymoon registry.

JennyJK 2 years 47 weeks

As much as I wish they weren't tacky, they are. As anon said, registries are for gift-giving ideas for things the couple might need, if you choose to give a gift. In theory the couple isn't counting on receiving everything, you're giving it to them to help them out, and if they don't get something they need/want they'll buy it themselves. Blatantly asking for money as a gift, regardless of what you're going to do with it, is tacky.

Sundown321 2 years 47 weeks

I love this idea! I think regular registries are a little out dated. Most people don't get married and move out of their parents house. Some couples even have two of everything to start out. I'm 27, I don't see myself getting married any time soon, and I already have everything that would go on a registry. I would much rather get help going on a great honeymoon than get an updated set of steak knives!

2 years 47 weeks

Wedding gifts used to be about helping the new couple get a start on their new life together. But these days it feels more like I have to help them fund a lifestyle that they can't afford on their own. I find registries to be a bit tacky in general, but asking for money is even worse.

skigurl 2 years 47 weeks

It's no more tacky than a regular registry. I'd still just give money though, probably.

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