He Hasn't Changed His Facebook Relationship Status

Group Therapy: He Hasn't Changed His Facebook Relationship Status

January 1, 2011

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been with my boyfriend for about two months. He has yet to change his Facebook relationship status from single to in a relationship. I have never had my relationship status up on my page. Should I bring it up to him?

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35 Comments

skigurl 2 years 17 weeks

this might be old news by now, but i'll give you my two cents: my fiance never goes on facebook, and i'm surprised he even still has it. he will go months at a time not going on it...he also told me the other day that he never even bothered to look through my pictures when we first started dating - he is NOT the active facebooker type and he doesn't feel it affects our relationship whatsoever...but he was the one who raised (about 10 days after we started dating) "are you going to change your facebook status?" (and i didn't have one at the time) and i thought it was so cute, so we put "in a relationship with..."...we were 25 at the time, mature, and knew our relationship was the real deal. we weren't doing it to show off. it's just a fact...if you're dating, you're dating. so why lie to your fb friends about that? i would bring it up too, and don't let people tell you you're being silly. if he changes it happily then he's legit. if he puts up a fuss or takes the status off, he's just not that into you and is trolling for ass

skigurl 2 years 17 weeks

this might be old news by now, but i'll give you my two cents:my fiance never goes on facebook, and i'm surprised he even still has it. he will go months at a time not going on it...he also told me the other day that he never even bothered to look through my pictures when we first started dating - he is NOT the active facebooker type and he doesn't feel it affects our relationship whatsoever...but he was the one who raised (about 10 days after we started dating) "are you going to change your facebook status?" (and i didn't have one at the time) and i thought it was so cute, so we put "in a relationship with..."...we were 25 at the time, mature, and knew our relationship was the real deal. we weren't doing it to show off. it's just a fact...if you're dating, you're dating. so why lie to your fb friends about that? i would bring it up too, and don't let people tell you you're being silly. if he changes it happily then he's legit. if he puts up a fuss or takes the status off, he's just not that into you and is trolling for ass

danakscully64 2 years 19 weeks

If it makes you feel any better, my ex still has his Facebook to "In a Relationship" because he doesn't use it. We broke up 4 months ago. I think just casually bring it up, it's not a huge deal.

theCatsPajamas 2 years 19 weeks

if you're dating him, it's probably ok to... you know, TALK to him.

kurniakasih 2 years 19 weeks

Mention it to him if this bothers you so much. He may not the type who's making that extra effort to keep things updated on hiS FB page. Speaking of which, I need to put 'married' in my facebook profile, I just didn't put 'married' because I assume ALL of my friends on that website already know I am (based on my different last name).

kurniakasih 2 years 19 weeks

Mention it to him if this bothers you so much. He may not the type who's making that extra effort to keep things updated on hiS FB page.Speaking of which, I need to put 'married' in my facebook profile, I just didn't put 'married' because I assume ALL of my friends on that website already know I am (based on my different last name).

2 years 19 weeks

YES you should be concerned! It bothers YOU. Your feelings are real and always count! Tell him that it bothers you. If he has issues with your concern...then he is not that much into you! If he really cares about you...what is the big deal about changing his status. Get what YOU want out of your relationships.

atraditionalist 2 years 19 weeks

If he's on facebook even semi-often taht would be one of the first things he would want to change to proclaim taht he was with you. The fact that he's not is a red flag. Put yours up as single and see what he has to say about that

looseseal 2 years 19 weeks

wildsngrny brings up a good point: have you even had "the talk" about making your relationship an exclusive one? Until you've expressly made it clear to each other that you want to only date each other, neither of you can really assume that's what's going on. If he doesn't think it's that serious yet, it's fair enough he's not putting that in his status. Don't assume the passage of time somehow magically makes it official. Don't try to guess at it by how he treats you (it would certainly give you important clues, but guessing doesn't make it so). Whether you're really in a relationship is something you have to talk about and agree on. Maybe this doesn't sound very romantic, but it sure does avoid a lot of misunderstandings compared to playing the guessing game.

2 years 20 weeks

He is keeping his options open. If he has taken the time to update his status, and eduation he would want to proclaim to the world that he is off the market..So sorry, he's just not into you....

2 years 20 weeks

You have to be kidding if you take this crap serious. Just play some farmville and get over it :) The boy is single he isn't married to you. Two months is not a committed relationship and therefore he is single. I know many of the kids want their boyfriends to post in a relationship so they can show off for their friends on fb that they have a boyfriend, otherwise I don't get it.

TheBestRedDress 2 years 20 weeks

So there was this book and movie called "He's just not that into you"...

wildsngrny 2 years 20 weeks

Nah--it's only been two months. And you don't have your status posted at all, so... If you are still together after like, six months and are exclusive and serious? Then it might be time for "the talk." Until then, if he's only into you, I'd say it's not a big deal.

LittleMzFit 2 years 20 weeks

It seems to me that if he was nuts about you, he'd change it on his own. Don't dwell on it & don't say anything to him. Just try to enjoy the relationship & see how it plays out. Just my 2 cents!

Pistil 2 years 20 weeks

I would suggest doing so in an email or text message. Fail proof communication.

BriannaLovesKaty 2 years 20 weeks

Relationship*

BriannaLovesKaty 2 years 20 weeks

Relationship*

BriannaLovesKaty 2 years 20 weeks

I think you should just ask him 'Why is your relation status still on single?' maybe he didn't realize =]

looseseal 2 years 20 weeks

Hey, plenty of people past 35 are on Facebook. My mom, my mentor from a past job... The only age limit Facebook has is the "nobody under 13" one (which people are breaking with impunity). Not everyone on Facebook plays the games, collects 4320 "friends", post pictures of themselves drunk, and update people on every one of their bowel movements. A lot of social groups use it to update members on what's going on. Yeah, even social groups that are mostly made up of people over *gasp* 35. I can see a legitimate reason for her to be worried. It's one thing if his relationship status is hidden. But when it's publicly shown as "single", and especially if he also shows that he's "interested in women" and looking for "a date/a relationship", that's like hanging a huge sign that says "here ladies, come and get it". Like Skitterpuppy mentioned, there are people who treat Facebook like a dating service. Some married men go on it to find hook ups. Guys who are only dating using it to troll for more tail wouldn't exactly shock me. That said, no need to get too worried at this point. It is completely possible he just doesn't pay attention to these things. Do bring it up. His reaction might tell you a lot about whether he simply didn't notice or if he's purposefully keeping his FB profile that way.

looseseal 2 years 20 weeks

Hey, plenty of people past 35 are on Facebook. My mom, my mentor from a past job... The only age limit Facebook has is the "nobody under 13" one (which people are breaking with impunity). Not everyone on Facebook plays the games, collects 4320 "friends", post pictures of themselves drunk, and update people on every one of their bowel movements. A lot of social groups use it to update members on what's going on. Yeah, even social groups that are mostly made up of people over *gasp* 35.I can see a legitimate reason for her to be worried. It's one thing if his relationship status is hidden. But when it's publicly shown as "single", and especially if he also shows that he's "interested in women" and looking for "a date/a relationship", that's like hanging a huge sign that says "here ladies, come and get it". Like Skitterpuppy mentioned, there are people who treat Facebook like a dating service. Some married men go on it to find hook ups. Guys who are only dating using it to troll for more tail wouldn't exactly shock me.That said, no need to get too worried at this point. It is completely possible he just doesn't pay attention to these things. Do bring it up. His reaction might tell you a lot about whether he simply didn't notice or if he's purposefully keeping his FB profile that way.

Pistil 2 years 20 weeks

Remember when your relationship status wasn't advertised to the world via social networking sites? I do. Those were the days.

Studio16 2 years 20 weeks

*I clicked post before I was done. Anyway...that's just my opinion. If you love Facebook and your boyfriend's lack of a relationship status worries you, then yes, by all means you should bring it up to him. However, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it or keep pushing it.

Studio16 2 years 20 weeks

*I clicked post before I was done.Anyway...that's just my opinion. If you love Facebook and your boyfriend's lack of a relationship status worries you, then yes, by all means you should bring it up to him. However, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it or keep pushing it.

Studio16 2 years 20 weeks

I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to hurt any feelings here, but honestly, I think you need to grow up a little bit. It's Facebook. It's an online social tool. First of all, I don't even think that people past college age should still be on Facebook (there's just something about 35 year olds playing Farmville that rubs me the wrong way - not saying you're 35 or playing Farmville, just saying, it's weird). Second of all, who worries about making relationships public except for teenagers?

Skitterpuppy 2 years 20 weeks

Maybe I just assume the worst but my boyfriend ( now husband) was a total douchey player when we met ( yes sometimes people can change) and he always had FB but I didn't till bout 2ish months into the relationship. And he sent me messages like WTF now you got fb? But it took him forever to add me. His status was still single and his friends were alot of girls with inappropriate photos and they left rather inappropriate messages on his wall. So yea. He was keeping his options open. And it was a big deal. And we fought about it and I called him out on it. Needless to say, we don't have FB anymore.What I hate is that some people are like 'Dont let fb status define you' and sure. But I've experienced that sometimes guys do it for a reason. If it's ' not a big deal' then do it. If the girls are just 'friends', then it shouldn't be a problem. And you have a right to call him out on it. Mention it casually first but if he bulks there might be something up. Just sayin'. Good luck.

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