Today's question: I find myself wanting sex more when I’m menstruating. Is that normal? And how do I avoid potentially making my partner feel turned off?
To see Dr. Glickman's advice read more.
Let’s take this in two parts.
First, plenty of women find that they’re more interested in sex during menstruation because of changing hormones. So is it normal? Sure. But more importantly, it’s clearly normal for you, so don’t stress about it. Plus, it’s well-known that orgasms, whether from sex with a partner or solo, can help with cramps by stimulating the uterus to contract. So there’s a big plus for you!
Secondly, not everyone is turned off by it. Sure, some people are, which isn’t a surprise given how period-phobic our society is. But some people feel pretty neutral about it and some folks even find it a turn-on. So the first thing to do is ask something like, “how do you feel about sex when I’m having my period?” I’d suggest bringing it up when you’re not having sex, just because it makes it easier to talk about it. It might also be easier to talk about when you’re not menstruating, since that would give your partner some time to think about it and for the two of you to come up with solutions to possible concerns.
Some things to consider — what are you asking about? If your partner isn’t interested in oral sex or intercourse during that time, what about using their hands? Or kissing you while you use a vibrator? If you widen your definition of what sex is, you might be able to overcome any barriers around specific sexual acts.
You could also consider things like having sex in the shower (silicone lubricants can help since they’re waterproof and water will tend to wash your body’s lubrication away) or putting a dark towel down on the bed to avoid staining your sheets. And if you and your partner aren’t already practicing safer sex, you might want to use condoms or gloves just to help keep things easier.
If it turns out that your partner simply isn’t into it, try to not take it personally. Some folks simply find it a turn off. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun on your own!